PSALM 47 - Heaven and Home

God ascends among shouts of joy, the Lord among the sound of trumpets.  Sing praise to God, sing praise.  Sing praise to our God, sing praise!  Sing a song of wisdom, for God is King of all the earth!  (vs. 5-7)

I saw the Lord seated on a high and lofty throne, and His robe filled the temple.  Seraphim were standing above Him.  Each  had six wings:  with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew.  And one called to another:  Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of Hosts.  His glory fills the whole earth!  (Isaiah 6)

I have been writing about heaven lately.  A dear sister in Christ went to heaven when her Jeep Cherokee careened into and underneath a semi on a snowy day in March of 2000.  Her experience with Jesus is mesmerizing (you have to wait to read about it til the book is out) and exciting.  Heaven is not a reflection of earth.  Quite the contrary.  Earthly beauty is magnified to such a degree that our earthly experience seems only a shadow of what is real.  Earth is smoke and mirrors.  Heaven is where it all begins and ends. 

Imagine with me the first time we are allowed to see heaven.  I have thought of this many times since we held my father-in-law's hands as he slipped away from here to there.  One moment in a hospital bed in assisted living and the next lifted up to his feet to walk on streets of transparent gold and look into the face of Jesus.  Transition.  Not death.  No sting for those of us who belong to Him. Eyes closed here for the last time open there to wonders unimaginable - but I am going to try imagine anyway.

Glowing all around me is light, but my eyes don't squint from its glare.  There is no sun or moon from which it emanates but it is pervasive and sparkles with thick irridescence so that when my body moves the crystalline air undulates.  Colors never conceived on earth burst from everywhere - from the mighty river roaring past, the fruit-laden trees heavy with their treasures, the flowers that cover hillsides for as far as the eye can see, and from the mighty walls of heaven bejeweled and sparkling in the perpetual Light.  Aromas that become one with me, fill me with joy so that I want to dance with abandon until I can no longer stand on my own two feet.  Orange blossoms and roses, honeysuckle and jasmine, mint and basil and translucent tree sap overflowing in abundance.   All my senses heightened.  Not just standing there enjoying perpetual sunset, but falling into it and becoming one with the beauty that I could only appreciate from a distance on earth.

All of this at once, of course.  Taking it in.  Then walking toward me is Light.  Hard to make out the shape of it.  I feel the need to unwrap it as it pulls me toward it.  Suddenly my heavenly eyes focus and I see Him.  Jesus.  Eyes, fiery blue and piercing.  Hair golden.  Hands out to me.  And I run, then.  Into Him.  Complete.  Caught up in ecstasy.  Understanding in the moment all my spirit was made for.  Joy.  Laughter.  Like a child running into the arms of her beloved father after being apart from him for a time.  Only more.  So much more.  Home.  That is what I feel.  Home at last.

Aware then of sounds.  From His body comes a hum - a thrumming of power.  Energy contained for a moment in a form I recognize, but too big to forever take on specific shape.  Rushing water coming from the cascading river, music - symphonies and choirs - coming from a short distance away, and rustling of trees making a harmony all their own.  Heaven is noisy with power.  And the noise is getting closer as I walk with Jesus toward its source.  Angels hover, glistening white and focused on the One on the Throne.  I approach in the midst of thousands and thousands and hundreds of thousands of beings - angels and saints - praising the King of All Who sits enthroned in majesty.  My soul is taken up to a place indescribable and euphoric.  So that were I human I would burst!  I sing with them.  A new song.  I cry out with all that is in me:  "Holy, Holy, Holy is my God!"  I love Him.  I love Him with my everthing.  I bow down to Abba.  I stand up and raise my spirit hands.  I dance and dance and twirl and twirl and still have energy for the worship. 

And then my Jesus sets me in front of Him and presents me to my Father.  "This is Kay.  She belongs to me.  I have kept her for this day!"  

My Father, who has ascended His throne, looks at me and I see His face.  My Father.  There is no language for His look.  It is an embrace.  A welcome home.  The King loves me and tells me so. And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

PSALM 47 - Does It Look Like War?

Clap your hands, all you people!  Shout to God with joy!  The Lord Most High is wonderful!  He is the great King over all the earth.  He defeated nations for us and put them under our control.  He chose the land we would inherit.  (vs. 1-4)

God stripped the spiritual rulers and authorities of their power.  With the cross, He won the victory and showed the world that they were powerless.  (Colossians 2)

My dear children, you belong to God and have defeated them; because God's Spirit,  Who is in you, is greater than the devil, who is in the world.  (Woot!!!!!!  1John 4:4)

Every day I quote Colossians 2 to the enemy of my soul lest he think he has the upper hand with me.  I don't always remember that he has no control over me, but the Spirit within me does!  I remind the enemy that he has been STRIPPED of his authority by the cross of Christ.  I love the word "stripped" because it is the way my Savior hung on the cross...stripped of His dignity, shamed by my sin, naked and bleeding for me.  It seemed to the world that Jesus was stripped of His calling as Messiah, also.  That was on Friday, though.  Come Sunday....Clap your hands, people!!!!  Stand up and shout!!  The war was not over until the grave was empty.  The Lord Most High is wonderful beyond compare!!

If Satan has lost, why is he still winning battles in our lives?  What is it that we are missing?  I think it is the recognition that we have the same Spirit Who raised Christ from the dead living within us.  Satan is in the world.  His spirits cling to earthly, worldly things and ideologies.  It is impossible to go outside even to the grocery store and not bump into at least one of his minions cloying at our peace and joy.  Trying to draw us in.  It doesn't look like war, though, huh?  It seems like going to the grocery store.  Or the movies.  Or even to church.  The enemy is lurking everywhere luring, lying and licentious.  A little bit here.  A little bit there.  Saving the big artillery for when we are lulled into his web and don't know how we got there. 

It seems to me we don't understand the nature of the battle or the fullness of the victory.  If you, as a soldier, have just vanquished your arch enemy and are savoring the victory, why would you then listen to his taunts to come join his side again?  That would not make any sense at all!!  But that is what we do.  Why?  We forgot we had to be vigilant in victory.  We need to be on offense once we win.  The aggressor is still going to hate us, regroup and try again.  That is why we must stand firm in the victory we have in Christ, resist the devil and make him flee.  Remind the enemy of who you are - Who lives in you.  Remind yourself that the rulers of the world are powerless against you because He Who dwells IN you is greater than the enemy.  Stand up.  Look around.  Don't be caught off guard.  Know the Word and use it as the sword it is.  Put up your shield, trusting in the One Who has won.

One day every knee will bow every tongue confess -- even Satan's! -- that Jesus Christ is Lord of all.  Lots of clapping and foot stomping!!  Victory cries and applause!  We can start now!  No need to wait to understand how great is our Savior Who has vanquished every foe and led us to victory in this life and in the life to come!  The wonderful Lord Most High is our Abba!  We are kids of the General of Heaven and Earth!  As such we are vanquishers along with Him.  Stand up and shout.  Take your victory to heart and know that "no weapon formed against you will prosper."

PSALM 46 - Sitting Still

Come and see what the Lord has done - the amazing things He has done on the earth!  He stops wars everywhere on the earth.  He stops all bows and spears and burns up chariots with fire.

God says:  "Be still and know that I am God.  I will be supreme over all the nations.  I will be supreme in the earth."  (vs. 8-10)

If there was ever any doubt that God is in control, His statement here should clear that up.  Our God is the last word in this world.  The Almighty Creator of everything is not moving along the timeline of events with us wondering what will happen next.  He sees all of history at one moment - start to finish.  The Alpha and the Omega is the beginning and the end.  It is not man's willing and running but God's will that rules the earth.  There is comfort in that.  Thus,  "Be still."

I must admit that being still is not my forte.  I have trouble with an over-long movie, much less the story of my life!  And....don't tell everyone this...I often read the end of a book before I begin at the beginning.  I know... But that is just the kind of antsy I tend to be.  Perhaps I would read the end of my life if I could...I don't know.  That is a little more personal than say, WUTHERING HEIGHTS.

I don't think I am alone, though, when, in the midst of struggles on this earth, I want to know how it will all turn out.  Will God come through for me?  Will this kill me?   Will I hear God correctly?  Waiting for "joy in the morning."  Sometimes the predicament seems so unfair, and my Father will not let me defend myself.  Sickness, financial difficulties, strife with friends and family - life stuff that can knock us off our feet.  Loved ones in Afghanistan or Iraq.  Real all-out war.  Political upheaval here and abroad.  The stock market spiraling out of control with all our baby-boomer 401K's in the balance.  Problems swarm around us like angry bees distracting us with the swatting of them.  Fighting with a fly swatter what only God can fix.  But will He?  Has He before?

This is when He calls me to be still.  Put the swatter down and think for a minute.  Remember all the times He has been my refuge and my rescue.  Review life up to this point.  My God has been amazing!  Just yesterday I discovered the businesses that I was forced to sell in 2007 were going under.  Not happy for the person who purchased them, but I could see the hand of my Father in the selling of them when I did.  At the time, it was horrible.  Couldn't see what He was doing.  Today I feel rescued.  I am in the midst of a "war" with friends right now over a young woman who needs space to find her voice.  I love my friends and the young woman, so I must still myself before the Father of all of us to see what He will do.  Give the battle to the Lord. 

Being still is only the first step. The second is to "know" that He is Lord.  And know that I am not.  My "fix" on things is usually disastrous.  I am a slow learner.  Taking my hands off and trusting that He knows things I don't know has been a hard lesson.  As a multi-tasker, I want to have the outcome now.  So what do I need to know about my God in order for me to let Him do what I cannot?  He is supreme in all the earth.  My Abba is not too busy with the big things to help me in my puny troubles.  God does NOT help those who help themselves.  I am deeply loved and valued by my Father in heaven.  He feels with me not just for me.  The Almighty God is not surprised by my predicament.  He did not look down today and say, "Oh, my goodness, look at this mess that Kay is in!"  Pretty sure He knows - and knows whether it is a mess I made or a predicament He intends to use for my good.  Either way - no surprises there.  There is no condemnation for those of us who are His.  No saying, "I will smash my child for this!!"   My God is my salvation, my refuge, my fortress, my source, my song, my deliverance, my restoration, my strong tower, my Beloved. 

For I know Whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what He has entrusted me with until that day...... (2 Timothy 1)

Be still......and know.

PSALM 46 - Happy Water

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the dwelling places of the Most High God.  God is in the midst of her.  She shall not be moved.   The nations made an uproar.  The kingdoms tottered.  He raised His voice, the earth melted.  The Lord of hosts is with us. The God of Jacob is our stronghold.    Selah.  (vs. 4-7)

Whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never thirst again.  But the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.  (Jesus, John 4)

Speaking of even-if 's. 

The young virgin was going about her daily tasks when the angel, Gabriel, appeared to her.  She was to be the mother of the Messiah.  His name was to be Emmanuel, God with us.  The Holy Spirit of God implanted the child in her womb.  Joy unspeakable!  The Savior in her.  Ultimately to be in us.

Mary at the cross.  Looking up at her bleeding Son. Almost unrecognizable for the beating He had received.  She and her other kids had trouble believing His mission when it turned pedestrian.  Thought He was going to reign as a king, not walk the dusty roads as a healer and forgiver.  James, his brother, thought Him a little crazy.  Even tried to rescue Jesus from a group He was speaking to because He seemed to have delusions of grandeur.  And now....the bloody sweat of her Son, this Child of Promise, falls like gentle raindrops on the dust beneath His cross.  Where is the angel now?  Had she heard him correctly?  All looked lost and hopeless.  Didn't know her Son was now her Savior. 

God in heaven.  The Father Who knew from the beginning what the road to Calvary was all about.   Though He predestined and foreordained the death of His Son for the forgiveness of our sins, this Lamb was personal.  The cringing Abba endured with the Son the spit and stripes, the blasphemy and cursings, the derision and torture.  But there was a moment when He could not look.  The sins of centuries too hard to bear as they fell on the Son hanging there. 

"My God!  My God!  Why have You forsaken Me?"  Heartbroken, body bleeding and soul dirtied for the taking on of sin.  The Father could not put His holy eyes on our filth.  But heaven held its breath.  Perhaps the streams that make it glad stopped flowing for a moment.  It was the definitive hour for all of the universe and heaven, too.  All created for this occasion. 

"I have to!"  The Father must have cried to His Son.  "You know I have to!  You must be Emmanuel forever!"  And then He turned His face.

But make no mistake.  "It is finished!"  marked the end.  And the Father stood up with this world in His hands and shook it fiercely.  With a word it would have exploded with His wrath.  God Almighty could only just keep His composure as His Son relinquished His life.  The light of the world turned out for several hours.  Midday complete darkness.  This Father was aroused and heartsick.  I think this world just barely made it through the death of Christ.

The Son on Sunday.   Sitting up.  Moving with ease out of graveclothes and beyond the heavy stone that could not hold Him in.  Going back to Abba.  Done with death.  Risen to life eternal.  To enter heaven as the conquering Lamb worthy to receive for all time the honor due His name.  To take from the river of Life a cup of living water and put it to our lips so we might drink and be glad.  So that the river that flows through the City of God flows also through us until we are there to swim in its waters and drink of its joys. 

It looked so bleak.  The cross.  How could Mary know her boy would die?  Yes, old Simeon had pronounced "a sword will pass through your own soul." But that was years ago, and she had never fully realized what it meant.  Could her boy now be Messiah even if  He is dying between two criminals?  How can there be trust when it all falls apart?  All but one disciple ran away in fear.  It looked like even Jesus didn't get what was going on.  She walked away in hopelessness.  A grief too deep to speak.  For it seemed that she had not only lost her firstborn, but the Jews had lost their Messiah.

Tragedy rose up in triumph, though.  God was in the midst.  Controlling history.  Vanquishing His oldest enemy, Satan.  Conquering death not only for His Son, but now for us. 

Can't see the outcome of what is on your plate today?  Impossible to understand what your Heavenly Father is doing in your situation?  Is it possible to remember that He is enthroned above the circle of the earth in glory and power?  That though the kingdoms are in an uproar and nations totter on the brink of disaster, He is in the midst and shall not be moved?  Hang on.  Take a drink of living water from a stream of gladness flowing from the river of Life.  Then trust that His eye is on you just as surely as it was on His Son and when it is time, He will stand up and melt the enemy before your very eyes.

PSALM 46 - Even If....

God is our protection and our strength.  He always helps in time of trouble.  So we will not be afraid even if the earth shakes, or the mountains fall into the sea.  Even if the oceans roar and foam, or the mountains shake at the raging sea.  (vs. 1-3)

Fig trees may not grow figs, and there may be no grapes on the vines.  There may be no olives growing and no food growing in the fields.  There may be no sheep in the pens and no cattle in the barns.  But I will still be glad in the Lord.  I will rejoice in God, my Savior.  The Lord God is my strength.  (Habakkuk 3)

Perfect love casts out all fear.  (1 John 4:18)

The ominous clouds were circling overhead as we drove away from our new home in Wichita Falls, Texas, on a stormy afternoon in April, 1979.  Our young daughters were in the back seat as we cruised down Southwest Parkway heading toward our motel downtown and the Wendy's drive-thru adjacent to it.  The sky seemed suddenly to turn a dark emerald green as the wispy ends of the clouds began to spiral like a corkscrew out of the mass.  We pulled into the drive-thru and ordered our hamburgers and fries and waited for the order in the car. 

"Quick! Get out of your car right now and come inside!"  The attendant's voice was high and screechy, terror-filled.  "Now!"

Then the wailing began.  Sirens heralding the oncoming tornado that would eventually ravage one-fifth of the town, leaving entire neighborhoods bereft of homes, shopping centers, and banks.  Fear electrified the air inside the little fast food restaurant as we were herded into the meat locker for safety.  I turned to see the twister grinding through our new neighborhood just as the manager shut us into the cold. 

The day was deadly for over forty people.  The entire south side of the city looked like it had been bombed.  Lights were out.  No electricity or water.  Deadly quiet after night fell.  Everyone stunned and weary.

One of those even if 's.  When things fall apart and you wonder where God is.  When fear is appropriate, but maybe not very helpful.  It seems to me that one of Jesus's favorite questions to His disciples was, "Why are you afraid?"  Funny.  He asked them that when He was asleep in the back of the boat and the storm was so powerful they thought they were going to die in it.  While He was in the boat!  They didn't get it any more than we sometimes do.  Why do we fear when He Who made the storm rests in the boat with us? 

"Wake up, Jesus!  There's a terrible storm and we are about to sink!"  This as the waves spill over into the boat and the wind tears at the sails.  It was bad!  No doubt about it. 

"Be still!"  commands Jesus of the maelstrom.  "Don't be afraid!"  commands Jesus of His friends.

It is counter intuitive to be still.  To decide to trust the Creator for the storms whirling about in creation.  How silly, though, for us to think we can speak to the calamity with the authority of the Maker or cry and wail so loudly that we can make it stop.  He controls it all.  And sees us in it.  And loves us.  Rejoices in our trust.  We will be spared the storm, seen through it or carried to His arms by it.  These are God's choices.  None is a fearful prospect.  And, fear makes us foolish.  We panic and make mistakes that faith keeps us from.  Fear makes us lose perspective.  Faith makes us look to Him. 

If in the raging storm, Jesus walks with us like the fourth man in the fire with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednigo, we shouldn't fear.  But with them we should also be able to say, "Even if He doesn't save us from this fire, we will not serve another God."  If we know in the midst of the struggle that we are loved by our Father,  there is nothing to fear.  Not height, nor depth, nor any other created thing.  If we love Him, we will not fear that the things happening to us have been brought about for our destruction but for His glory and in accordance with His plans. We are, therefore, in the palm of His hand in the center of every storm.

PSALM 45 - Then The Babies Come

In the place of your fathers will be your sons.  You shall make them princes in all the earth.  I will cause your name to be remembered in all generations.  Therefore the people will give you thanks forever and ever.  (vs. 16-17)

But you are a chosen race,  a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people of God's own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him Who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.

And then the children come.  The son becomes a father, the daughter, a mother.  Bearing fruit.  Generation to generation.  I remember when Heather, our oldest, was about three years old, and we had visitors for lunch.  A little tow-headed boy her age and his mommy.  Heather was so irritated with his syntax that she finally, in exasperation, cornered him and told him, in no uncertain terms, what she knew to be the truth:  "My mommy's name is Mommy!" 

"No,"  he responded with equal fervor.  "My mommy's name is Mommy!"

"My mommy's name is Mommy!"  she retorted, losing what little patience she had with his constant use of my name.

Both "mommies" laughed til we had tears in our eyes.  Of course, we were both Mommy.  Hard concept when you have built your entire sense of safety and nurturing around the one and only Mommy in the whole world.

Abba has a much bigger job.  He is the God of the whole earth.  But He is Father to those of us who have become His own possession.  Christ is our husband, with Whom and for Whom we bear more children for the kingdom of the dear Son.  I have many children that I did not bring forth from my own body.  Malda, my dear friend, and I were in college when we made a trip with Campus Crusade for Christ from Texas to San Bernardino, California, to the organization's retreat center. On a crystal clear California day we headed to the beach with our tracts, The Four Spiritual Laws.  We were to look for people to share the truth of Jesus with that day.  Malda was a little more reserved about the encounters than I (she is much wiser than I), so I went first.  That first attempt was civil, but the young woman we shared with was uninterested in Christ.  We prayed again and looked around the beach.  Toward the pedestrian pathway, sitting on a blanket and fully dressed, was a young woman all alone.  She stuck out from the crowd because she was not in beach attire, so we headed her direction.  Malda was nervous.  But it was her turn.  As we approached the young woman, she looked up and smiled, giving my friend the courage to sit down to speak.  Instead of walking through the Four Spiritual Laws casually, Malda simply read them to her pretty much without looking up.  The last line says:  "Can you see any reason why you would not ask Jesus into your heart right now?"

"No."

My thought.  No, you don't want to or No, you don't see any reason why you would?

We prayed with the only girl on the beach wearing a dress.  Then she wanted us to wait to tell her boyfriend about her new Friend.  We left them praying together on the beach, but not until we had gotten her name and address so that we could write to her and help her move on.  That is how you make children with Christ.  Daughters and sons of the Most High God.  Princes and princesses in His household.  Babies who need nurturing and love in order to grow up godly in Christ Jesus.  They are everywhere, every day, waiting for our Beloved to point them out to His Bride.

Our Husband is the seed of this progeny.  Entrusting to us the joy of showing each one how to grow up to be like her Father.  So that our spiritual children are equipped to parent others.  Generation after generation, forever and ever, will be called children of God - a holy race, a chosen people.  We live in the palace of the King of Kings.  The blood of royalty grafted with an oath into our own plebeian plasma.  The rights and privileges, yes, even the inheritance, of the Prince of Peace, our Beloved, are guaranteed to us, the Bride and to our children in Him. 

PSALM 45 - From Bride to Wife

Your robes are fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia.  From ivory palaces stringed instruments make you glad.  Daughters of kings are among your ladies of honor.  At your right hand stands the queen in gold of Ophir. 

Hear, O daughter, and consider and incline your ear.  Forget your people and your father's house, and the king will desire your beauty.  Since he is your lord, bow down to him...All glorious is the princess in her chamber, with robes interwoven with gold.  In many-colored robes she is led to the king, with her virgin companions following behind her.  With joy and gladness they are led along as they enter the palace of the king.  (vs. 8-15)

For Your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is His name.  And the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth He is called.  (Isaiah 54)


Trying to wrap my mind around what it means that Jesus is my husband.  That He has yoked Himself to me in oneness.   On my wedding day, despite the 102 degree heat of a Texas summer and my choice of a winter season wedding gown (I was only 20), all I could think about was being Mrs. Farish.  I am not one of those women who always dreamed of how her wedding day would play out.  Knew from my first Easter dress what I wanted to walk down the aisle wearing.  I actually bought the first dress I tried on with my best friend, Malda, when we went to New Braunfels, Texas, and took over Leah's Bridal Shop for an afternoon.  Though my wedding day was clearly memorable with my bridesmaids decked out in the red dresses they would never wear again and the clinking of punch glasses to the sounds of celebrating guests, I was most excited about being married.  You know, the little apartment with everyone's cast-off furniture and our brand new aluminum dinette with four chairs decorated in flowery vinyl.  Making dinner.  Doing laundry.  Living with my man.  Knowing him intimately.  I left my father and mother that day.  My husband was my life and home.

I remember when I gave my heart to Jesus.  I was six.  Lest there be some doubt that a child that young can know Him, let me just say that I have loved Him ever since.  Imperfectly.  Yes.  But He came into my heart.  If felt almost physical, His entering into the place created for Him alone in me.  Along the way,  I got a little lost.  Had to figure out my relationship with Him.  But He is my Redeemer.  I am His because He purchased me with the dowry of His blood and promised to keep me for Himself.  Since He is my Lord, I bow to Him freely and accept His divine ownership of me, His bride.  Though the day He came into my heart was the significant beginning of our love, richer still is the deepening joy of knowing Him as my Beloved.  I admire His character.  My Maker never lies to me - even when the truth means I have hurt Him, even betrayed His love.  My Beloved will never leave me - never forsake me.  When life deals its worst, He holds my hand, kisses me, and tells me to wait on Him to make it better......and He always does.  My best is what He is always planning toward.  Our future together for eternity is ever on His mind.  We are one, and that makes Him sing over me with joy.  Early in the morning He is there, having watched over me in the night.  Sometimes the road we take is confusing to me and I would veer off course, but His right hand is in my left, and we walk on together.  Even now He is preparing a place for me to live with Him in the splendor of His palace.  Never does He forget me, though my wavering, worldly heart might stray.  Because His love and favor have been poured over me like myrrh and aloes, I stay closer and closer each year we are together.  Bound by His tender heart and unceasing devotion to me.  Wanting to reciprocate the love of my Beloved.  To make this tent in which He dwells clean and bright, light shining in through the windows and pouring out the doors.  Joy, the cause for every need to tidy up the place.  Because on the day His Bride is presented to Him in all her glory, I want to be wearing the brightest linen as I walk toward my Jesus to be presented to Him spotless for eternity.

Let us rejoice and exult and give Him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His Bride has made herself ready!  It was granted to her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure...

PSALM 45 - A Wedding to Remember

My heart is moved by a noble theme as I recite my verses to the king.  My tongue is the pen of a skilled writer.  You are the most handsome of men.  Grace flows from your lips. Therefore God has blessed you forever.  Mighty warrior, strap your sword at your side, in your majesty and splendor - in your splendor ride triumphantly in the cause of truth, humility and justice. May your right hand show your awe-inspiring acts.  Your throne, O God, is forever and ever, the scepter of Your kingdom is a scepter of justice.  You love righteousness and hate wickedness.  Therefore God, your God, has anointed you with the oil of joy more than your companions. (Vs.1-7)

For as a young man marries a young woman, so your sons will marry you.  And as a groom rejoices over his bride, so your God will rejoice over you.  (Isaiah 62)

The blushing bride awaits her handsome mate who approaches her with a Ketubah in hand.  On the table before her is a flask of wine to be drunk if she accepts the proposal sealed in the contract he carries with him.  The young bride's face is covered.  Her heart pounds as the young man comes near and opens the Ketubah and reads from it all the promises he will make to his future bride.  Even more important is the price he will pay to gain her for his own.  The young man is handsome and eager. His own heart beats wildly as he waits for her to drink from the cup of wine set before her, for if she does, she agrees to be his and the marriage would be legally sealed.

Her dainty hand reaches for the cup of wine he presents to her and her scarlet lips take a sip.  Joy!  She agrees to be his bride.  "I will not drink of this cup until we are reunited,"  he declares.  It will be a year or so before he comes to get her because he has to prepare a place for them to live.  He cannot share this cup with anyone else because that would mean he would be engaged to another.  She is his beloved now.

On the night before He died,  Jesus took the cup.  "This is the new covenant (Ketubah) in my blood.  (The price I will pay for your love.) Drink it in remembrance of me.  I will not drink from it again until you drink it with me in My Father's kingdom."   He declared that He must go away to prepare a place for us, but assured His Bride that He will come again and take her to Himself that where He is she will also be.  Jesus betrothed Himself to the Church.  His Bride.  The Groom Who rejoices over us.

With what reciprocal joy should we give ourselves wholeheartedly to loving our Savior?  The Ketubah He has made with us is filled with promise after promise paid for with holy blood.  Our groom is beautiful beyond description, a mighty warrior who has slain the one who would destroy our faith and vanquished the last great enemy, death.  The Word of God, the Logos, Jesus is reigning in splendor ready to come for His Bride on horseback dressed in white.  His awe-inspiring acts to win our love and demonstrate His power are carried out with truth, humility and justice.  He won us!  Careening over the forces of evil and the lies of the evil one, the strong right hand of our Husband beat back the unjust and swooped us up onto His horse, carrying us to His heart forever!!

Sing bride.  Sing for joy!  Your Husband is the King Who will come back to take you to Himself!

Then I saw heaven opened, and there was a white horse.  Its rider is called Faithful and True, and He judges and makes war in righteousness.  His eyes were like a fiery flame and many crowns were on His head.  He had a name written that no one knows except Himself.  He wore a robe stained with blood, and His name is the Word of God...A sharp sword came out of His mouth....and He has a name written on His robe and on His thigh:  KINGS OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.

PSALM 44 - What Do You Tell a Sheep Who Is In Too Deep?

You sell Your people for nothing.  You make no profit from selling them.  You make us an object of reproach to our neighbors, a source of mockery and ridicule to those around us.  You make us a joke among the nations, a laughingstock among the peoples.  My disgrace is before me all day long, and shame has covered my face because of the voice of the scorner and reviler, because of the enemy and the avenger.

All this has happened to us, but we have not forgotten You or betrayed Your covenant.....If we had forgotten the name of our God and spread out our hands to a foreign god, wouldn't God have found this out since He knows the secrets of the heart?  Because of You we are slain all day long.  We are counted as sheep to be slaughtered.  (vs. 12-18; 20-22)

....the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb ....and they sang a new song:  You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals because You were slaughtered and You redeemed people for God by Your blood from every tribe and language and people and nation....Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels...Their number was countless thousands , plus thousands of thousands saying with one voice:  "The Lamb Who was slain is worthy!"  (Revelation 5)

It's hard to know what God is up to sometimes.  He looks at all of history - global and personal - at one glance.  All laid out like a tapestry, pre-woven and complete.  We see a skein, at best.  Our lives fit into His plans in a way only He knows.  Hindsight might show us the why of our pain, but it might not.  In the end, our God will have delivered us from the problems, taken us through them or taken us to be with Him because of them.  If we are sheep led to slaughter, we are in good company.  If our faith is ridiculed because we did not see Him completely heal or deliver, we can still trust Him that He knows our hearts and His plans. Understands not as a bystander, but as a victim.  Above His head they put up the charge against Him in writing:  THIS IS JESUS  THE KING OF THE JEWS.  ...Those who passed by were yelling insults at Him, shaking their heads and saying,  "If you are the son of God, come down from the cross!"(Matthew 27)

To lose faith because of present trials might just truncate the purposes of God.  When, like Job, you know you have not transgressed His new covenant with you, what is to be the response in great calamity?  If we do not know this, we will have a very difficult time in the tribulations to come.  We must know that we are loved and watched over like the sheep of His we are.  The entire history of mankind was changed because One Lamb was slaughtered.  Heaven understood the mission was completed.  But it cost.  And not just any life.  You see, God was planning to save us by His blood before He created anything.  This Lamb was slain before the foundations of the world were set.  He came knowing He would be butchered by the slandering crowds - by the very ones who had praised Him with palm branches the day before.  So the offering up of our lives to His will, even if we die for it, puts us in good company now and forever.  If we think we get a free pass here on earth, then trials will do us in.  Everybody has them.  It matters what we do in the midst of chaos we did not create.  We do have power to overcome.  In the end that will be what matters:  They conquered (the evil one) by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their own testimonies, for they loved not their lives even to death. (Revelation 12) 

Just as the psalmist declares, we remember what has already been done.  Our testimony of God's faithfulness in our lives keeps us focusing on how real and powerful He is.  In the confusion of the moment we must not listen to the Job's friends who tell us God is punishing us.  He was not punishing His Son, but saving the world.  In the end, God saw Job through the trial.  His Son He brought, through His death, to the very throne room of glory to oversee the end times.  Those who lose their lives will save them.  Daily.  Sometimes that means glory.  Sometimes, the confusion of trials.  But, who can separate us from the love of Christ?  Can affliction or anguish or persecution or famine or nakedness or peril or sword?  As it is written: Because of You we are being put to death all day long; we are counted as sheep to be slaughtered. No,  in all these things we are victorious through Him Who loved us.  For I am persuaded that not even death or life, angels or rulers, things present or things to come, hostile powers, height or depth nor any other created thing will have the power to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord! (Romans 8)

Amen and amen.

PSALM 44 - Where Did He Go?

My God, You are my King.  Your commands led Jacob's people to victory.  With Your help we pushed back our enemies.  In Your name we trampled those who came against us.  I don't trust my bow to help me, and my sword can't save me.  You saved us from our foes, and You made our enemies ashamed.  We will praise God every day; we will praise Your name forever.

But You have rejected us and shamed us.  You don't march with our armies anymore.  You let our enemies push us back, and those who hate us have taken our wealth.  You gave us away like sheep to be eaten and have scattered us among the nations.  You sold Your people for nothing and made no profit from the sale.  (vs. 4-12)

What happens when God feels light years away from your circumstances?  Things have gone horribly wrong and we don't get it.  What do we do when God doesn't "march with our armies" anymore?  Of course, this is speaking of the nation of Israel in this psalm.  Sold once into Babylon.  Sold once again into Auschwitz.  How is it that God in heaven allows such carnage?

We, His children, experience devastation, also.  With children who rebel or worse.  Disease.  Abandonment.  Loss.  When mothers leave for another man, abandoning the family.  The dream you saw before you vanishes without a trace.  The list goes on and on.  And we have to compare this to the times when God was our shield and protector.  With the knowledge that only He can bring victory.  We don't trust our own devices to do what only He can do. 

There was a time in my life when my mother was dying of cancer, my father was arrested for pedophilia and my husband was preoccupied with a trial, the outcome of which would determine the future of his company.  This on the heels of a surprise pregnancy that produced a much-loved son.  A job for Bill that had been a dream come true because he pioneered a new method of home building.  My daughters were thriving.  My first book had been published.  Camelot.

So what do we do with the vacuums?  How do we define His relationship to us when we feel He has moved so far away?  I screwed up.  I hope I wouldn't again because I know He never moves very far away.  How do I know that?  Christ.

There was the one with the withered hand whose fingers wriggled free with His touch.  Lazarus, the walking dead, buried for days, emerged from the tomb at the command of Jesus.  Lame walked, deaf heard, demons fled.  Victory after victory.  Yet on the day He hung bloodied and beaten, naked and writhing on the cross that saved us, He cried out,  "Father, why have You forsaken Me?"

Why, indeed.  Because God is always involved in His plan for the universe.  Because every cross has a resurrection.  Because even an Auschwitz can create a new nation on ground not possessed by God's people for two thousand years.  In my own "silent" years, my God taught me about judgment. He showed me that mercy triumphs over it.  He showed me that times with Him face down are the most important hours of my life.  I searched for Him in the silence.  Cried out for His presence.  Never again will I take for granted the presence of my God.

PSALM 44 - Missing Shades

You, with Your own hand, drove out the nations, but our ancestors You planted.  You afflicted peoples, but them You set free.  For not by their own sword did they win the land,  nor did their own arm save them,  but Your right hand and Your arm and the light of Your face, for You delighted in them.  (2-3)  ESV

Single-handedly you weeded out the godless from the fields and planted us.  How you sent those people packing, but gave us a fresh start.  We didn't fight for this land!  We didn't work for it!  It was a gift! You gave it, smiling as you gave it, delighting as you gave it.   THE MESSAGE

He put the sunglasses on the top of the car.  I told him not to because he might forget them when we drove away.  But my son was confident he would remember because it had taken him a long time to save up the hundred dollars his Oakley's had cost.  He was a legend in his own mind as he walked the campus of his elementary school after class, glasses attached to his face as he strutted to the car waiting as if it were his limo.  I, of course, the driver privileged to sit next to the stud riding shotgun.  He did love those glasses. 

"How was school today?" I asked as we drove the busy freeway home.

"Fine."  That was always his answer....unless it was:  "Won't you pleeeaassee homeschool me?"

Our conversation was cut short by a shriek.  Almost a wail.  Grief so self-evident it almost took my breath away.

"I left my glasses on the top of the car!"  My son screamed this!  Absolutely devastated.  "Mom, we have to go back!"

Well, of course we did.  But we were fifteen minutes away from the glasses we had probably executed with our very own tires.  "They are either gone or crunched by now, Will."  Hated to tell him the truth.

"Let's pray."  I must admit I had little faith, but we asked God to let them be there, unscathed, waiting for us like an obedient dog when we pulled back into the parking lot.

A long fifteen minute ride.  Many, many "I'm so stupid's" later we rolled up to the parking place we had left.  I wish I could say the Oakley's lay pristine, untouched and obedient there on the ground.  However, crunched they were.  To smithereens! 

Crying.  Loss.  How could he have been so stupid!  One hundred dollars was a lot of lawns mowed and chores done.  Worked so hard.  His macho gone with the shades, Will cried.  Not just a little.  More like he had lost a friend instead of his expensive personae.

What to do.  All the way home I pondered.  It really was his fault.  Forgotten things on the tops of cars usually meet the same death.  As he was crying his pain, I was thinking about how to stop this hurt for him.  How to recapture what had been taken from him.  You see, the grace of buying him a new pair of sunglasses (which I could afford in those days) outweighed the need to teach him this excruciating lesson.  (Also, I am always losing my sunglasses or sitting on them...I pay $6.00 a pair for them on this account.)  Besides.  The lesson was already learned and he had no way of showing that without sunglasses to care for again.

Talked it over with Bill.  And here is the thing.  I could not wait to tell Will that we would buy him a new pair.  It brought me so much joy, I cannot tell you!  Not because he deserved them.  But because he didn't!  When Will saw them, he was ecstatic!  Couldn't believe he had another pair.

"Mom, I'm going to take such good care of these!  I promise!"  Shades to face.  Awesome again.  And to this day (he is 28) he is oh-so-careful with his sunglasses. (I, on the other hand, am hopeless.)

There was something memorable about that occasion that makes me understand how God moves heaven and earth for His kids.  Can't wait to show His love by bringing about the impossible....not just so we can be happy, but so He can beam His joy on us.  That by His right hand, His mighty arm and the joy set before Him, He provides for us all that we do not deserve.

PSALM 44 - The Stranger at the Bus Stop

God, we have heard with our ears, our fathers have told us, what deeds you performed in their days, in the days of old.  (vs. 1)

The young divorcee lived alone.  Found Mac, her husband, one night sitting in the pharmacy where he worked.  Arms splayed across the table in the back room where he sat, pill bottles turned over, random medications pink and yellow, sitting in the places where they had rolled in desultory order.  A surprise for both.  He saw her seeing him through bleary-eyed bewilderment.  His rage made her run.  But he caught her and beat her and left her bruised and bloody on the floor of their small house.  Slammed the door on their marriage when he stormed out.

That was months ago.  Mac had since gone off to war.  Flossie found a job a short bus ride from her new rooming house.  Days went by slowly.  Hard to understand the whys of her brief marriage.  Talking to her God.  Reasoning things out.  Feeling alone and lonely.  But He was her friend.  She woke up to Him and slept near Him.  She breathed Him in and found courage to walk out the door each morning.

There was a man at the bus stop on a particular day.  Flossie had worked later than usual.  Waited for the bus on a bench near the man pacing about with a cigarette between his fingers.  Kept looking over at her.  She could see out of the corner of her eye his interest.  Flossie shifted on the seat, turning her body away from the annoying glance.  The whining of the bus as it stopped relieved the awkward stress of the stranger's presence.  Up too close behind her on the steps as they boarded the bus, this man's breath was in her hair.  Stale cigarettes and dirty teeth.  It curled around her.  She shivered a little. 

Flossie took the first vacant seat beside an older lady and settled herself for the short ride home.  The man walked past.  To the rear of the bus.  Eased her fear a bit.  She took a deep breath.  Nothing to worry about now. 

Minutes later, the bus expelled its gas at her stop.  She exited through the front, down the steps, almost home now.  But he was there.  The stranger.  Left through the center doors.  Walking fast behind her.   Keeping pace with her ever-faster steps.

Oh, God, what do I do?

She was all but running by then.  He, following with the brisk strides of pursuit.  Her fingers fumbled for the keys in her purse.  She could see the pine-knotted door of her room. It looked like a target to which the arrow she had become must fly or die.  High-heels clapping the sidewalk.  Running as fast as she could.  Key out headed for its home.  Breathlessly Flossie hit the target, threw open the door, slamming it back in place.  The deadbolt clicked against the tyranny that pursued her.

Too much.  Mac and now this.  It hits her.  Grief and loss veering toward her, adding now this fear to its arsenal.  With hat still in place, coat and all, Flossie slides down the surface of her door into a heap on the floor.  Little sobs at first.  Rocking back and forth.  Face in hands still gloved.  Then all of it.  The entire mess of her life washes over her and she cannot control the deluge it becomes.  Speaking to her Friend all her pain.  Surprised by all the fears she recounts to Him.  Then just crying. Until there is relief enough to simply sit there on the floor in front of her door.

Be still.  Know that I am God.

Flossie looked up.  It was so plainly spoken she thought she would see Him actually standing there.
He knew.  He was there crying with her.  He had held her.  As He would hold her for the rest of her life.  Through better and worse. 

Mother told me this story many times at my request over the years.  I heard her quote this verse in the roughest of times.  Even when my father was arrested as a pedophile in 1985.  She knew to still herself.  To know He is with her....near.  That He is greater than our hearts and He knows everything.

Thank you, Mother, for the heritage of your faith that lives on in me and in my children.

PSALM 43 - Joy! Joy! Joy!

Then I will come to the altar of God, to God, my greatest joy!  I will praise You with the lyre, God, my God!   (vs. 4)

The joy of the Lord is your strength!  Nehemiah 8

What is the source of your joy?  My question to myself when I read this again today.  Is it my God? 

This has been a week of introspection to some degree for me.  I have an increased desire to be authentic before Him.  To display the same heart 24-7.  No fakery.  Free of manipulation.  I think I live that way, but I don't always know my heart.  Daily things come up that cause a reaction in me. Some good.  Some bad.  What I do with those times is just as important to God as is my reaction to great tragedy.  If I have put myself on the altar of God - die to self to live for His purposes - I will be walking in His will for me.  Thus joy!

The altar spoken of here is the sacrificial altar.  The place where the blood I should have to shed for my own sins has been poured out by another, leaving me clean - forgiven.  I am a little choked up right now.  When I know all I am guilty of.  Gaze on my imperfections and downright willful sins, I think I have no right to look up to God in anything but shame.  In me dwells no good thing.  I know this.  In fact, giving my body to be burned as a sacrifice would not even be good enough if I did not know Him. (1 Corinthians 13)  Only holy blood, His blood, allows me access to my God. 

My God!  My Christ!  My greatest joy!  I run to the altar where You lay down in my place.  In my own small act of reciprocal love, I offer anew this marred and imperfect sacrifice of my life to you.  It is not even mine to give, for You have bought it for Yourself and I belong to You.  Dancing.   Singing.  Throwing up my arms!  I twirl and laugh and delight that I am free!  In the Holy of Holies, breathing in the incense, sprinkled by Your blood, behind the raveled veil I dare to call you Abba!  Filth for snow white garments!  Sorrow given over to dancing!  Depression arcing into praise!  Brokenness transitioned into comfort!  And, above all, you, my Abba, gaze on me with love. 

Oh, come join the dance to my God! Come drink from the wells of joy because He makes us new.  Come to the altar and see....a Lamb has changed our death knell into pardon.  Left the altar blood-soaked.  Breathe in the scent of the sacrifice.  Know it should have been you.  No last supper before you die. No executioner marching you, guilty and condemned, to the death you deserve.  There will be no self-righteous soldier beating the sin out of you, for His stripes were enough.  Look past the altar to a tomb where now all lambs are buried with Him.  Hear an angel  declare "He is not here!  He has risen!"....and little lambs rise, too.