PSALM 108 - Who's Your Daddy?

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let Your glory be over all the earth! That Your beloved ones may be delivered. Give salvation by Your right hand and answer me! (Verses 5-6)

 My business was experiencing stress when the economy began tanking over the housing crisis. I'd spent thirteen years building it to a successful level. Loved the people who worked with me. I felt out of control some days as business fell off from the stellar year before. In the process of this trial, my father died. A complex grief. A deep relief. I was now an orphan on this earth. As 2007 approached, it was clear I should sell the business. And our new home. Come to grips with change and hard decisions. Synthesize what my father's death meant to me. Turn a wandering heart back home. I was kind of a mess.

The heartening thing to me was God was showing up for me as a Father. I knew in my head He is Father God. Jesus taught us to pray that way, "Our Father, Who is in heaven." I think, though, He was a long way off in terms of the way I related to Him. My earthly father's arrest in 1985, and the revelation of his many molestations, sent me running, in a panic, to hide. Mother's subsequent death confused my faith. By August of 1985, with cancer consuming her body, Mother decided to die. Gave up food. Went to bed. Left us to go home. I wish I could say I was a rock of a Christian in light of all of this. I wasn't. Emptied is how I felt. Hollow is how I stayed for years though most wouldn't have noticed.

Into 2006-2007 entered my Father. The death of Daddy made room, I suppose, for the possibility of a better one. It seems every time I read the Bible in that year, I was struck, as I am in the psalm today, by the fact that I am beloved. God, the Father, loves me as His precious child. He watches over me. Sings over me with joy (Zephaniah 3). Shepherds me. Calls me by name. Protects me from the enemy. Covers me with His feathers. Jesus told His disciples on the night before His death, "The Father Himself loves you (John 16)." Because I belong to Jesus, I belong to the Father. I spent hours repeating to myself what became a holy prayer, "We will be all right because my Father loves me." In the confusion of change, the betrayal of those I thought were my friends, and the disappointment of those with whom I did business, I walked with the increasing confidence that my Father would work it all out for my good and His glory. Because He loves me. No other reason. I certainly didn't deserve big breaks. I'm not worthy of such attention. That makes it all the more wonderful that He still looks out for this little lamb of His.

"You answer us in amazing ways, O God, our Savior!(Psalm 65)." A verse I found while fasting and praying in September of 2006. I can't explain how my heart wanted to be with my Father. Scared of making a wrong turn in a wrong-turn-ridden situation. Asking Him the specific question, "What is going to happen here?" I will answer you in amazing ways, daughter. Settled for me then. For I am beloved. When the staff asked what was happening, I would answer, "I don't know yet. But it will be all right because my Father loves me." It's all I had. Turns out it was enough. I sold the business. Sold my house. And all things worked together for the good. Which shouldn't surprise anyone. Least of all me. Miracles were in order for this to happen. My Father did things I wouldn't have dreamed of.

So I get it when David says to God, "Be exalted and show Your glory to everyone!" For in saving a wretch like me, in showing such love and grace, all can know there is a God Who reaches down out of His own goodness and grasps the hand of one too weak to walk. There is no other God like ours. Contrary to public opinion, the glorious God of All, Creator and Sustainer of the universe, Wonderful Counselor, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace isn't too busy to be my Daddy. My Abba. And He wills to move heaven and earth to get to His beloved child.


 

PSALM 108 - The Gift in the Road

My heart is steadfast, O God, above the heavens! I will sing and make melody with all my glory! Awake, O harp and lyre! I will awake the dawn! I will give thanks to You, O Lord, among the peoples. I will sing praises to you among the nations. For Your steadfast love is great above the heavens. Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. (Verses 1-4)

Future grace. When things in the present are just plain rough. When life seems upside down and we don't know where it will all end up. What do we do? Will today to praise like it's already tomorrow and the enemy is conquered. Why? Because our hearts are as steadfast toward our God as His is toward us. So we can choose to thank Him today for all that might not manifest until later. I will give thanks to God. That attitude of the heart is my glory. Losing my own selfish desires in the knowledge that my God loves me and is faithful to me even when I can see no way out of the situation in which I find myself takes giving over to my better me. The spiritual woman. Not the carnal one who tends to complain against and blame God for my plight. She also accuses Him of not understanding her needs. Of not showing up. Winds up sitting down in a pile of ashes having a spiritual pity party.

Bill and I were being hooked into the harness to take our first parasailing ride off the back of a boat in Hawaii. I'm not a fan of heights, so the thought of sitting beneath a parachute four hundred feet in the air was making my stomach tighten and my will waiver. Our children were cheering us on, though. "You can do it, Mom! It'll be fun!" My knees were weak,quivering. "Maybe I shouldn't do this, Bill," I said as the young man latched my harness shut. "I really don't want to do this.." I felt panicky. "Too late," replied my husband with a big smile. I dragged my feet along the floor of the boat as the driver heeded the call to "Hit it!"

Up, up we went. Not fast, but gently lifted into the heavens. I loved it! Though I admit I didn't look down much. Out--out over the ocean and up into the bright blue sky. We floated in the quiet. I could hear Bill breathing. Our children looked like little Lego people set adrift in a toy boat as they waved at us. And all I feared became delight. But only after I walked in shaky courage to the back of the boat. Allowed the unknown to lift me to an uncomfortable place. Took a chance all would be well.

Parasailing is flimsy compared to some of the things we face in life, but trusting God to take us to heights we can't imagine is what faith is all about. Thanking Him that in the place of pain or heart break He will deliver us. Wowed by the knowledge that He can make something out of the nothing we find ourselves embracing. It takes our more glorious selves to make the choice to harness in with God and let Him possibly scare us to death before we float.

There is always grace then more grace. God has walked before us into what's next, prepared a future grace for us to stride, crawl or fall into. I'm learning that if times are nearly unbearable now, He can be trusted to give us a balm down the road a bit. An unexpected grace gift. Like a present in the path that we unwrap and joy in. The perfect answer to the question we asked in our trial. Which is why we can thank Him now, awake the dawn and praise God for His faithful love, even though we wait for the answer in the current situation. We will to thank Him because we know He will do what He promises.

It takes knowing God to have the kind of confidence that gets up in the morning thanking Him in advance for what He will do when our circumstances bid us do just the opposite. Our hearts must experience God's steadfast love and His faithfulness to our wandering souls. Bound to Him because we love Him so much--and because He first loved us. Knowing God's character because we've gone up in the parachute and lived! Gotten through daunting circumstances with trembling trust and found ourselves floating after all. Trusting in future grace because we've experienced grace for today. And in that we find our own glory. The grace to be light among the people. To point the finger at God not as the malevolent enemy, but as the savior of our souls, our sanity and our very selves. In a world turning very dark, we can stand like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the midst of nations who bow to other gods and proclaim His faithfulness to the heavens, then watch as God walks in the fire alongside us. Like Jesus, we can know that the cross portends an empty tomb, a grace unimaginable on the other side of pain.

 

PSALM 107 - Not An Ordinary Drink

He turns rivers into desert, springs of water into thirsty ground, a fruitful land into a salty waste, because of the evil of its inhabitants. He turns a desert into pools of water, a parched land into springs of water. And there He lets the hungry dwell, and they establish a city to live in. They sow fields and plant vineyards and get a fruitful yield. By His blessing they multiply greatly, and He does not let their livestock diminish...Whoever is wise, let him attend to these things. Let them consider the steadfast love of the Lord. (Verses 33-38; 43)


It was the last day of the Feast of Tabernacles. The Jews celebrated this holiday in the fall at the end of the harvest season. During the week of festivities, the nation of Israel was remembering their sojourn in the desert where they slept in tents, ever ready to pick up and move when the daily cloud of God's Presence or the nighttime pillar of fire signaled it was time to travel. The Jewish people of Jesus's day hastily created make-shift shelters in which they ate their meals for the week, remembering in a tangible way the journey of their ancestors. Giving to others marked the days of the celebration, making God's generosity to them a reciprocal gift to others in need.

 Into the noisy business of rejoicing stepped Jesus on the last day of the feast. The most important day. Through the crowds He and His disciples wandered, speaking with some, probably eating some of the harvested fruits and vegetables. Unaware that in their midst was the Lord of the feast. The pillar of fire and cloud by day manifested in the flesh in a marketplace. Come to touch His people, to smell their sweat, shake their hands and eat their produce. Christ, Messiah, moving in a market.

What He saw though? Hunger and thirst. Though the actual harvest had been good that year, it was a different reaping that was on the mind of Jesus. He looked into the soulless eyes of those whose lives had dried up. Starved for love and significance. Pressed up against Him in the crowds were the sick and lonely. The oppressed and poor. Children grasped His leg and begged for a coin or two. Temple merchants upped the price of the sacrifices to profit from the holiday. People with nothing packed like sardines in with the rich and self-righteous. Imagine being God and walking in our ordinariness. Unimpressed with all we believe is the actual because God lives in the realm of forever and this is just a reflection of reality as He knows it. Our struggles and fears small and our world view only extending a few feet in front of our daily life. Ah...He could change all of that. Pour into us the life He would die to bring. Call forth a deluge of living water into the desert that is our existence. Feed us with manna from the words of His mouth. Open up our souls and live inside us, plumping our desiccation with His Spirit.

On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, "If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, 'Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.'" Not the meek little Jesus some think of. No, Jesus, mixing with the crowd, filled with compassion for their spiritual and physical neediness, shouted out to them that He was living water. "Believe in Me!" He yelled. And everyone turned to look. This Jesus Who healed the sick and delivered prostitutes from their plight, Who talked with Samaritan women and touched lepers, Who ate with a mean little tax collector stuck up in a tree and honored a destitute woman for giving her last penny at the temple, Who didn't have a place to call home and walked the dusty roads with twelve average men--this Man stood in their midst and cried out to their pain. "I can quench your thirst." And He was speaking of the Spirit. Who indwells believers. Who fills the once empty spaces of our lives with joy, splashing, happy, rejuvenating joy. The plan of God all along to not simply walk among us, but to, by the death and resurrection of Jesus, live in us. Give us the power to live a godly life. The thing missing from the laws. Rules we humans can't fully obey. Now relationship trumps the law for we are loved to pieces by the One Who roamed our roads and ate in our homes. Father, Son and Spirit knew that if they could actually live in the broken, empty spaces in our lives, our deserts would be filled with springs of water and we'd find a place to finally dwell in safety.

He came for those of us who have wandered in waste lands of our own making, purposeless and powerless, the spiritual homeless. While we sat in the prisons of our sinful choices, God saw us there and waited for us to cry to Him in our misery. On dangerous seas, our lives rocked by the turbulence of our circumstances, we've needed to shout His name in the storm. With bated breath, our God attends to our lives and listens for the acknowledgement that we need Him. Because He desires to meet the need. Oh what love that must take to yearn for the willful wanderer to come home. To hope for acknowledgment that is our freedom, not our jail. To know all He has to pour into us, but to patiently watch our dramas play out. Loving us the whole time. At the moment we admit our hunger and thirst, God is there! And all of heaven rejoices over one lost soul refreshed.

PSALM 107 - Fear And Feathers!

Some went down to the sea in ships, doing business on the great waters. They saw the deeds of the Lord, His wondrous works in the deep. For he commanded and raised the stormy wind, which lifted up the waves of the sea. They mounted up to heaven. They went down to the depths. Their courage melted away in their evil plight. They reeled and staggered like drunken men and were at their wits' end. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He delivered them from their distress. He made the storm still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and He brought them to their desired haven. Let them thank the Lord for His steadfast love, for His wondrous works to the children of man! Let them extol Him in the congregation of the people, and praise Him in the assembly of the elders.
(Verses 23-32) Italics, mine

 Physical danger. Going about our business. An ordinary day. No warning. Like the woman I read about who decided to go shopping downtown on a breezy pre-holiday Friday. On her mind was her Christmas list. And the big dinner she always prepared. With her purse slung over her shoulder, she stepped out of her Chevy and plugged coins into the parking meter. She buttoned up her sweater against the breeze that was stirring, bending the trees in the median and the animating the leaves that gathered around her feet. She wasn't expecting the man who suddenly jabbed a metal object into her back, demanding money. It took her breath away. Made her feel faint. Her mind raced as her feet seemed stuck onto the concrete walkway. A nightmare become real as the thief demanded her money, trying to grab her purse. Help me, Lord! Please help me! Rising up from her soul like a burglar alarm. Trying desperately to remember the words from Psalm 91. To say them to this renegade who'd intruded upon her ordinary day. The verse she couldn't recite: For He will deliver you from the snare of the hunter and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wing you will find refuge. All she could call up was "Feathers!" She screamed it at the top of her lungs. Once more, "Feathers!" as she turned to face the would-be robber. Who ran. So stunned by the craziness of the word and the force with which the woman repeated it. The picture in her mind of her God as a huge mother bird Who protects her when she calls.

"Let's go across to the other side of the lake," suggested Jesus to His disciples. It was a beautiful day, the sun warm and the sails shining bright in its glow. A weary Jesus lay down in the bow and was lulled to sleep by the gently splashing water as it hit the sides of the boat. Nothing to worry about. But as the morning progressed, storm clouds formed in the distance and the zephyr became a raging windstorm that kicked up the waves and rocked the fishing boat back and forth, up and down, as the lake spilled its excess onto the wooden slats on which the disciples slipped as they held on tightly to the sails. "We're going to sink!" cried Peter. "We're taking on too much water!" Panic made the grown men want to cry. They didn't know what to do. And Jesus was still asleep.

It wasn't until they'd exhausted all other possibilities that they thought to wake Him. How could He still be sleeping, anyway? "Master! Master! We are perishing!" Jesus sat up, rubbing His eyes. Unbothered by the treachery that had come upon them in the middle of the day. Confused by their wailing fear. He stood then. Spoke to the wind. "Stop!" And to the waves, "Cease!" They obeyed. And there was peace.

"Where is your faith?" An odd question. Really. If Jesus was in the boat, why the storm at all? He is God in the raging waters. Put Himself through the ups and downs of their plight to what purpose? And why did He stay asleep through their panic at perishing? They didn't fully realize who He was. Thought God would die with them out there on the lake. Just wanted to wake Him to let Him know, you know, like, we're dying here. Doubtful. Their faith was small because they didn't grasp the magnitude of Who was asleep in the bow. In the calm, as the boat settled back to steady itself, the men were terrified. No longer at the storm. Its power subsided. No. This time a holy fear. A reverence for the One Who commands the weather. Stills it for their sakes. Not His. He wasn't worried. And they went safely to the other side.

Maybe the storms are there to show us how powerful our God is. To awe us that He cares. Loves us and will deliver us. That God asleep trumps our abilities when fully awake. And that as long as He is in the boat, we'll get safely home. As long as we remember to cry out to Him, even with a puny word that calls up all He is, our God will speak to our circumstances and increase our faith in the process. He will never, never, never leave us or forsake us in the raging sea, on a city sidewalk, or in the calm. Jesus understands the nature of the waters as well as He knows the depths of our hearts. No mysteries. No treachery too great. And when at last we are overcome by the waves of this life, and we will be, we will rejoice to surface whole and complete on the other side of the storm.


 

PSALM 107 - You Got Squat!

Some fools turned against God and suffered for the evil they did. They refused to eat anything, so they almost died. In their misery they cried out to the Lord, and He saved them from their troubles. God gave the command and healed them so they were saved from dying. Let them give thanks to the Lord for His love and for the miracles He does for people. Let them offer sacrifices to thank Him. With joy they should tell what He has done.  (Verses 17-22)

Who among you fears the Lord and obeys His servant? That person may walk in the dark and have no light. Then let him trust in the Lord and depend upon his God. But instead, some of you want to light your own fires and make your own light. So, go, walk in the light of your own fires, and trust your own light to guide you. But this is what you will receive from Me: You will like down in a place of pain.   Isaiah 50  (italics, mine)

Is God cruel or loving to let our circumstances take us to a place of misery where we finally call out to Him? I know many atheists who would condemn the idea of a God who can look on miserable mankind and manipulate circumstances to His advantage. Who might find the motives of this kind of God in question. And, perhaps, without fully understanding the character of a loving God, it looks that way. The upshot, however, of all the scenarios into which the psalmist puts hurting people is that a benevolent, prescient Father allows our misery in order to save us from it, not to gloat in it. God doesn't want us to be destroyed.

It goes black out here for all of us. The way unclear, the long path ahead dark and daunting. No one is exempt from the confusion of this age. Cancer, job loss, abandonment--the lights go out for a bit. What do we do? To sit still in a dark place is freaky. I know my first lake dive when Bill and I were learning to SCUBA was nerve wracking because of the dense diaper-drenched bottom of Lake Perris in Moreno Valley, California. Bill, it turns out, was having trouble on the surface with his gear. I was told when plunging to the depths by myself that he and the instructor would be right down. But they weren't. It seemed like hours that I crouched on the bottom breathing through a tube and not being able to see my hand in front of my face. Scared half out of my wits by a large fish that swam right up to my dive mask. My heart pounded and it took all my gumption to stay down there. Alone. Waiting for some action. I started praying then. The Lord's Prayer, to be exact. I wanted the comfort of Scripture. The Word speaking beside me. Life has been, on and off, for me a trip to the bottom of a dark, dirty lake. Sometimes I put myself there. Sometimes it was the current of living that nearly drowned me. But, all the same, I was in the dark.

It can make us run. Darkness. Suffocating and unsure, we grasp for something that makes us feel less afraid. A little light. Alcohol. Crack. Adultery. Power. Money. "Come on, baby, light my fire!" Make it less dark in here. Listen to Frank sing: "For what is man, what has he got? If not himself, then he has naught to say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels. The record shows, I took the blows, and did it my way." If God's asleep, I guess I'll have to get myself out of this mess! And we go John Wayne on our circumstances, bullying life and blaming God. For a while it might just work. But if all you end up with is yourself, I'd argue with Frank. You got squat. Swallowed by your own perspective, cornered by your own ignorance, kicked in the gut by stupid decisions--yeah, you took the blows. And fell into a bed of pain. Because we don't possess enough light to get us very far. Our AA batteries give out. For our omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient God, watching us strike out on our own would be like our watching a two-year-old running away from home with only the flame from a birthday candle to get her wherever she's going. It's ridiculous. And the more quickly we become miserable in our own pursuits, the sooner our light burns out, the more quickly we crawl back to the Light. And that is smart. Continuing the journey with a burned out birthday candle isn't.

Granted, life is often dark and painful anyway. God understands sometimes we feel like running away. Even Jesus, in the depths of the garden on the ebony night before His death, prayed against the coming circumstances. But He didn't run. He stayed and waited. And it got worse before it got better. But, man, did it get better! Jesus cried out in His misery and the Father heard and saved Him and everyone else who believes! The plan in the dark was for light forever more. Never wasted. Letting our hearts pound against our chests while we try to sit calmly to see what He will do. There is nothing but a small candle to guide us in our running away. Our God wants to rush in with star-shine before we find ourselves on a bed of pain, agonizing over wrong choices and smelling the acrid odor of a burned-out flame.

Ever loving us...ever at the ready to come even into our sick room and heal us of our contagious sinfulness, our Father waits for the invitation to visit us. To lay His hands upon our fevered brow and renew our vigor. To walk us out of our addictions, to change our minds with His Word, to caress our aching souls and, sometimes, to excise our deadly fears. The Great Physician. Come to heal the rebellious patient who was nearly burned to death by her own puny flashlight. The miracle of His love. That meets us in our misery. And lights our way again.

PSALM 107 - A Beggar's Story

Some sat in gloom and darkness. They were prisoners suffering in chains. They had turned against the words of God and had refused the advice of God Most High. So He broke their pride by hard work. They stumbled, and no one helped. In their misery they cried out to the Lord, and He saved them from their troubles. He brought them out of their gloom and darkness and broke their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for His love and for the miracles He does for people. He breaks down bronze gates and cuts apart iron bars.
(Verses 10-16)

The Lord looked and could not find any justice, and He was displeased. He could not find anyone to help the people, and He was surprised that there was no one to help. So He used His own power to save the people. He covered Himself with goodness like armor. He put the helmet of salvation on His head. He put on clothes of punishment and wrapped Himself in the coat of His strong love.  Isaiah 59 (italics, mine)

The son said to his father, "I wish you were dead."

Of course, the aching in the father's heart was palpable. This wasn't the first time his younger son screamed the invective at him. If only his kid knew how much the father loved him. How willing the elder was to lavish on this rebellious child affection without limit. But they lived on a massive estate with many chores. There was much work to be accomplished every day. And this son? He wanted no part of the process. Just the father's money. Now. His portion before his father's death. And death was nowhere in sight. The father a vital man. Tired of the rules of the household and his perceived lack of freedom, the younger son demanded his inheritance one fateful morning.

The father went to the bank. Sick to his stomach. A foreboding washing over him anew. As it did every time his child and he argued. I will finally let him go.

It took a very long while for the son to spend his father's money. On prostitutes, drugs, parties and every other dishonoring thing he could find. Filling the emptiness of riches with hedonistic pursuits until one day he found himself alone and destitute. Begging first on street corners for money to feed his habits. Working in a homeless shelter for pennies. A bare subsistence. Diseased from his profligacy, addicted to his medications, the boy kept thinking, "I wonder if Dad will take me back? I could work for him. Wouldn't have to be his son. Just a servant in the kitchen, maybe. Or an errand boy." It would be better than this. It took him months to get the courage to wander home.

The father always looked. At sunrise and sunset. Perhaps today he'll walk up the driveway. Day after day for months that turned into years, there was no sign of his boy. This child he loved. Gone astray, refusing to live by the standards of the house.

No time to shower at the shelter. No time to waste. The boy had made up his mind and began the long walk home. Through several cities, down major interstates, walking, walking, walking. And thinking what he'd say. "Dad, I've been so wrong. I know I'm not really your son anymore. I wished you dead, took what wasn't really mine, and squandered it. But...but, Dad...would you just hire me to do some job for you? Any job? I never want to leave you again." Over and over. A mantra. This is what I'll say to my dad.

Sweat was pouring down his face as the boy neared the long driveway leading up to his father's mansion. A homeless beggar, unrecognizable beneath the scraggly beard. He stank of garbage cans and months-old perspiration. Open sores oozed his body's retribution for the abuse it had endured. With his hands, the young man smoothed his matted hair as best he could and started toward the house. "Dad, I've been so wrong...." Repeating it so he'd leave nothing out.

The sun was hot when the father ventured outside. It was a ritual by then. Stepping onto the sidewalk leading to the front door of his home and walking to its edge for a glance down the driveway. Always hope. On this day there was a man standing on the street, head down as if in thought. He was dressed in rags. A homeless beggar was what the father thought. And just then the man looked up. The concrete of the drive covered a quarter mile, but there was something about the way the homeless man moved. Something familiar. And the father's heart beat fast. Pounding recognition to his brain. "My son!" He screamed it. He screamed it over and over as his feet beat the concrete in an ever faster rhythm that took him closer to the boy with whom he collided in joy.

"Dad, I've been so wrong.." He couldn't say it for the kissing and hugging. Tears of joy had wet the father's face and washed his own in their embrace. "You've come home! Oh, my God! You're finally home!" That was all. The father didn't seem to smell the boy's rancid breath or notice his broken body. But embraced the boy's misery and traded it for joy.

It's just what happens. When we go astray. Strike out on our own in our rebellion against God. Well loved and divinely cared for. And it just isn't enough. What is left for the Father to do but let us get to the end of ourselves? In the prison of our pain, we sit. And sit. Scraping our open wounds and working off our addictions. And no one cares any more. We've used everyone up. Misery is a great teacher. It drives us to the edge. And if we're smart, we work our way back. Like the younger son, hoping in our groveling for God to help us out here. Covered in darkness, gloom hovering over us, we might be in an actual jail or one we've created that binds us just as surely. God doesn't care where we are when we say, "Jesus, help me." He just wants us to come to that. Many of us have gone a long way out. And for us, it will be a long way back. But worth the journey to hear our Father say, "My daughter! My daughter! You're home!"

Seems too easy. Someone needs to make it right. All this we've done wrong. Isn't the Father's mawkish greeting a mockery? I mean, the kid's been horrible to him. And then we truly understand. Someone had to pay. To put on clothes of punishment and wrap Himself in the coat of His strong love. And His own goodness gave Him the strength to do it. The embrace of the Father cost the Son Who said: "The Lord God has put His Spirit in Me, because the Lord has appointed me to tell the good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort those whose hearts are broken, to tell the captives they are free, and to tell the prisoners they are released." Isaiah 61; Luke 4:18

When we were unable to help ourselves, at the moment of our need, Christ died for us, although we were living against God...But God showed His great love for us in this way: Christ died for us while we were still sinners.  Romans 5:6;8

We can always go home.
 

PSALM 107 - Prone to Wander, Lord I Feel It

Thank the Lord because He is good. His love continues forever. That is what those whom the Lord has saved should say. He has saved them from the enemy and has gathered them from other lands, from east and west, north and south.

Some people had wandered in the desert lands. They found no city in which to live. They were hungry and thirsty, and they were discouraged. In their misery they cried out to the Lord, and He saved them from their troubles. He led them on a straight road to a city where they could live. Let them give thanks to the Lord for His love and for the miracles He does for people. He satisfies the thirsty and fills up the hungry.   (Verses 1- 9)

This week found me once more on the carpet in my bedroom desperately crying out to God to save me from a deserved doom. I'd done something inadvertently dumb. It could've been costly to me. I needed Him to protect me from my own shortsightedness. My stomach was in knots. I paced some. Prayed some more. But I really had to just wait to see how it all turned out. So far, I'm good. It wasn't nearly as bad as it could've been. And you can't imagine how thankful I am! I have no problem, in fact it gives me pure joy, to say with the psalmist, "Thank the Lord because He is good! His love continues forever!" The entire psalm is about how God gets us out of trouble...usually circumstances we get ourselves into in the first place.

Wandering is first. This one speaks to many of us right now. Trying to find where He wants us to go. What He wants us to do. Taking the fork in the road and feeling like it's the wrong direction. And finding no city in which to live. No answer to "What am I supposed to be doing?" And in the wilderness of the trek toward purpose, we are hungry and thirsty. Discouraged about ever finding the right road to take. Some of us sit down and wait beside the road. Some of us keep pressing forward with our own sense of direction. Some of us turn back. But there must be a straight road out there where God wants our feet to travel. And, you know what, we might be on it at just the time we think we are lost. Because our God is a lamp unto our feet instead of a floodlight down our path, we keep going forward on the promises that He will lead us. That's the message for those of us who are looking for guidance. Who want His leadership. He is your teacher. He will not continue to hide from you, but you will see your Teacher with your own eyes. If you go the wrong way--to the right or to the left--you will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the right way. You should go this way." (Isaiah 30)

But there is a different kind of wandering we fall prey to. It's more like straying. We let go the Hand of our Father at the carnival that is this world and find ourselves, like Pinocchio, enthralled with all the booths beckoning us with the thrills of the bizarre or the chance of great riches at the arcade games. It's not until it all goes dark, all the twinkling lights go off, that we realize the fair was a façade and we are in hell. Like looking at Vegas in the daylight. Just a bunch of gaudy buildings in the desert. What then? Does our God even care about us? After all, we let go. Chose the gaudy over our God. This is what the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel says: "If you come back to Me and trust Me, you will be saved. If you will be calm and trust Me, you will be strong (Isaiah 30)." But if wandering has gotten into our blood, we wait in the dark for the next thrill. For the evanescence of the world's electric light bulbs to lure us once again into its delights. The steady walk with God can't compare with the drama of deceit. Seems boring in comparison to the highs of the bazaar. Isaiah 30 continues this way: "But you don't want to do that. You say, 'No, we need horses to run away on.' So, you will run away on horses. You say, 'We will ride away on fast horses.' So those who chase you will be fast. One enemy will make threats, and a thousand of your men will run away. Five enemies will make threats, and all of you will run from them. You will be left alone like a flagpole on a hilltop, like a banner on a hill." The Lord wants to show His mercy to you. He wants to rise and comfort you. The Lord is a fair God, and everyone who waits for his help will be happy.

Discouragement makes us wander away from the hand of our Father. Add pain to that. We need comfort and encouragement. And so in our walking along with our faithful, steady God, when the sidewalk is narrow and the path ahead dim, we stick out a passing hand to something more exciting. The fix for now. The distraction wastes time. Truncates progress. As God waits for us to come back and trust Him again. The other things will fail us. I'm old enough to know that now. I've run on a fast horse to get what I wanted. And found myself being chased by the demons who lured me in. Running as fast as my spiritual (and sometimes physical) feet could carry me back to my Father. And just like the father in Jesus's story of the wayward son, my God was waiting for me with open arms. He cleaned me up and took my hand again. I held on much more tightly afterward. No wander lust for this world left. No excitement at the carnival. Only a desire to navigate its confusing, deadly hawkers and amusements with a firm grip on He Who chose to rise up from His throne to run and comfort me.
 

PSALM 106 - Is Jesus White?

For their sake, He remembered His covenant, and relented according to the abundance of His steadfast love. He caused them to be pitied by all those who held them captive. Save us, O Lord, our God, and gather us from among the nations, that we may give thanks to Your holy name and glory in Your praise. Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting! And let all the people say, "Amen!" Praise the Lord.  (Verses 45-48)

Immediately after the tribulation of those days, the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light, and the stars will fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens will be shaken. Then will appear in heaven the sign of the Son of Man, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. And He will send out His angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the earth to the other. Jesus, Matthew 24

 I've been writing a book on a friend's amazing experience in heaven after a car accident put her in the hospital where she was ventilator dependent and the staff awaiting her organs for donation. In the four days between the accident and when she came back to her body, my friend was with Jesus in heaven. Several years later, she was interviewed by Dottie, a Christian television personality in the Philippines. One of Dottie's questions was, "Is Jesus white?" Interesting, huh? In other words, does He fit the white American paradigm? I should make you wait to read the book for the answer, but that would be so rude. The answer: "He is light. Spirit." Though having form, He cannot be described in earthly terms as having one nationality over another. When on Earth, He was Jewish. Not white Anglo-Saxon Protestant. Jesus took on the body of a son of Abraham. But came for us all. And we are everywhere. Walking about in every nation, of every color and tongue, wearing different colors and styles of clothing and worshiping in many different venues. But we are a race of people, a nation called out by God to be His very own. And He sees us. Sitting by an earthen pot stirring soup in a village in Africa or riding on the elevator to our tenth floor job in Manhattan. We are connected by the blood of God that flows through our spiritual DNA. Adopted into a kingdom yet to be fully revealed. And one day soon Jesus is coming to get us.

I could quit there. But this psalm backs up from the glory to see the stuff that happens before. And so does Jesus. Our earth deserves the great wrath of God, if there is a God. I know some would argue our wretchedness is progress. Women have the right to choose to kill their babies. Marriage has been redefined. And when people do stay married, they are now the anomaly. Sex with anyone any time is standard. No shame. No matter. Everyone does this sort of thing. And the beat goes on. It's not my place to judge the world...or anyone for that matter. But to join in the chorus of  "anything goes" is also not my calling. I'm not supposed to separate myself from the morals of the secular world to be a goody-two-shoes, but to be a part of God's family. To please Him. I know it often looks like self-righteousness to others. But, it's not. I can be drawn by the same appetites as the rest of the world. I have been. Just like I don't like the feeling of eating too much or drinking too much, I don't like the what I'm left with when I trade Jesus for the feel-good narcissism of this world. It's empty for me.
Also, I happen to believe my Jesus is coming again on the clouds into this wickedness and rebelliousness that pervades our physical world. Call me crazy. (Many have!) But I know there will come the day, in the midst of our mourning and wailing over the devastation of wars and the ramifications of our greed, when the clouds will part and the King of Kings and Lord of Lords will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet sound of God (1 Thessalonians 4). And we will fly to meet Him in the air. Just you wait and see. But don't wait without Him. You'll be clinging to the rocks to save you. And you'll be saying, "I thought this was just the fantasy of a bunch of Christian lunatics." Jesus said this is what will happen. Bank on it. Then the kings of the earth and the great ones and the generals and the rich and the powerful, and everyone, slave and free, hid themselves in the caves and in the rocks of the mountains, calling to the mountains and rocks, "Fall on us and hide us from the face of Him Who is seated on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb, for the great day of their wrath has come, and who can stand?"  (Revelation 6)

Things will go from bad to worse. Jesus already told us this. The moon isn't going to shine and stars will come crashing into Earth. It's going to be catastrophic. People will be just like they were in the days of Noah when God despaired of having created man and flooded the earth with water, ridding it of all save some animals and Noah's family. That's the level of wickedness and self-absorption we can expect. That's why to be a part of it as children of God is despicable to Him. We have been called out to be a holy nation in the midst of great turmoil. To love others and each other with the love of Jesus. To look different not because of our self-righteousness, but because of our compassion. To live holy lives in the midst of a pretty corrupt society. One that redefines corruptness as correctness. It's confusing, and if we don't know our God and understand what He wants for us, we will be sucked in.
I joy, though, in knowing I have brothers and sisters all over the world who are today "loving not their lives even to their death (Revelation 12)." It costs us something to follow Jesus. It will cost us everything not to.

In His great love and mercy, God will call us out of every tribe and every nation, whether by death or by the miraculous and epic events of the end times. We are His. In this troubled world, our Father is aware of our every movement--our every thought, hope, dream. He is our King. The Lord of what we say and do. And we are not alone. We don't all look alike, but we are everywhere and we are known by the mark of the blood of Jesus swiped like the blood of the Passover Lamb upon the doorposts of our  hearts. Oh, yes. I am marked. But not by my silly goodness, but His all surpassing sacrifice for my sinful heart. From the throne God sees the blood covering those who know Him. And the covenant that blood represents my God will keep. Snatching us away. To live as His kids forever. And let the people say, "Amen!" Praise the Lord.

PSALM 106 - Little Candles Need To Stick Together

They did not destroy the peoples as the Lord commanded them, but they mixed with the nations and learned to do as they did. They served their idols, which became a snare to them. They sacrificed their sons and their daughters to the demons. They poured out innocent blood, the blood of their sons and daughters, whom they sacrificed to the idols of Canaan, and the land was polluted with blood. Thus they became unclean by their acts, and played the role of the whore in their deeds. Then the anger of the Lord was kindled against His people, and He abhorred His heritage. He gave them into the hands of the nations, so that those who hated them ruled over them. Their enemies oppressed them, and they were brought into subjection under their power. Many times He delivered them, but they were rebellious in their purposes and were brought low through their iniquity. Nevertheless, He looked upon their distress when He heard their cry.  (Verses 34-44)

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.    1 Peter 2

Anyone else find it hard to be in the world but not of it? Maybe one cloistered away from all the devastating confusion of this present life can be free of the in the world part. But those of us bombarded constantly with media messages and internet options, moral ambiguities and downright in-your-face opportunities to sin, are having to be cautious and intentional about our lives. Perhaps it sounds elitist to some, but God's desire isn't to make us a bunch of self-righteous ninnies who eschew a good time. But He does want us to be a good kind of different from the world. We are, in fact, part of a holy nation. Not represented in the United Nations, not governed by a human being. But called out to form a race of people who choose to follow Christ. Not because we think we're better. Quite the opposite. We understand the world. Know what it's like to pollute our minds and hearts to the extent we are capable of some pretty sick stuff. Many of us have sat in the darkness with aching hearts and screwed up minds and were so blinded by the light of Jesus it took our spiritual eyes and our disturbed hearts a while to adjust to the brightness. Nothing smug about a holy nation that used to be the scum of the earth. Only Jesus makes that possible. So why does anyone turn back?

I've heard over and over that if we just light one little candle, we can change the world. What God wants is lots of candles sticking together, lighting and relighting each other, so we are able to navigate the darkness--penetrate it. To illuminate our path and to show others the way. One little candle in a whole lotta darkness has less of a chance of staying lit. Do not let the world squeeze you into its mold, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12).  It is becoming more and more difficult to hold to a moral, spiritual standard in our world today. Christians are accosted, sometimes violently, for Biblical standards of conduct that the seculars see as a bunch of arbitrary rules that we expect them to uphold. The lines of black and white have become, for many of us, gray. Even we are confused. But God isn't. His rules aren't for those who don't choose to obey. But they are for us. And for our good. A part of being a chosen race and a holy nation. Not so we can trot around in righteous robes and gloat over our own purity. No! So we can breathe on this quaking planet! So we can see our way clear all the way home! I don't care if the world thinks I'm right or wrong. I care what God thinks! I've already done the darkness. Why would I go back?

The "whoring" after idols was for God like the breaking of sacred wedding vows. God betrothed Israel to Himself. Loved her with His whole heart. Intentionally saved them over and over again...and still does...in order to keep a covenant thousands of years old. He showed them how to live in peace and joy. Took them, almost literally by the hand, and led them into the Disneyland of living. Canaan. Where grapes were the size of a man's hand and where milk and honey flowed. God had great things in store for the people He called out. And their reaction when things were good. Whore around. Serve the gods of Canaan instead of purging their pagan worship from the land. They even wound up killing their kids. Offering them to gods that aren't gods in order to satisfy their own sinful pleasures. Perfect wasn't good enough. We need our actual hearts changed--then and now. I've always felt sorry for the Israelites. How can I judge them? They didn't have the indwelling Holy Spirit as I do now. The genius of God's mystery--Christ in us, the hope of glory. Without salvation through Christ, I'd probably be just as weak as they. I have been...with Him.

But don't miss the most amazing thing about this passage. Many times He delivered them...anyway. He heard their distress signals and His father's heart couldn't turn them down. He just loved them so much. Like any father, thought, "This time they really mean it." Pulled them out of their circumstances only to have their fox hole oaths ruined by their baser appetites. Their relationship with the Father wasn't founded upon their love for Him. Only on what He could give. Only on the knowledge that His steadfast love continues forever. That He won't stay angry forever. That God's promises are kept even when we are faithless, because our God can't lie. Their behavior was based solely upon their thin understanding that God loved them. And that wasn't enough. It was, and is now, those who love Him back who will have the motivation to leave off whoring after the world in order to enjoy relationship with God over anything else. It's not as lofty as it sounds when we know our God in Jesus Christ, His Son. It's merely giving up the darkness of the living dead to bask in the brilliance of the Light of the World.

PSALM 106 - A Spear In The Belly

Then they yoked themselves to the Baal of Peor, and ate sacrifices offered to the dead. They provoked the Lord to anger with their deeds, and a plague broke out among them. Then Phineas stood up and intervened, and the plague was stayed. And that was counted to him as righteousness from generation to generation forever...They did not destroy the peoples, as the Lord commanded them, but they mixed with the nations and learned to do as they did. They served their idols, which became a snare to them. They sacrificed their sons and daughters to demons.  They poured out innocent blood, the blood of their sons and daughters, whom they sacrificed to the idols of Canaan, and the land was polluted with blood. Thus they became unclean in their acts, and played the whore with their deeds. (Verses 28-31; 34-39)

While Israel lived in Shittim, the people began to whore with the daughters of Moab. These invited the people to the sacrifices of their gods, and the people ate and bowed down to their gods.   Numbers 25

How brutal does God want us to be with our sin?

Shittim was the last stop before the Israelites crossed the Jordan. Approximately ten miles east of Jericho and the promised land. So close. Almost there. And sex trumped all. The Moabite women wooed the men of Israel not only to their beds, but to their gods. This was no little sin. The men were taking their sons and daughters and slaughtering them as a religious rite. The bloody bodies of His children's children presented to a pagan. The giving of their hearts to wanton urges separated them from not only their destiny, but the Holy God Who was leading them. God isn't simply jealous over His people because He's a mean spirited and malevolent God. Our God isn't interested in our living like the world. Because? We go "whoring" after everything that we think will satisfy our appetites and end up doing things like killing our kids. Think that's just ancient history? Millions of little bodies in abortion clinics around the world might tell a different story. Sacrificed to the god of self.

But this isn't about abortion so much as about what we who know better to do with our sins. The ones we know keep us from God. From adulterous relationships to alcohol, from drugs to porn, from grasping for power to lying to our friends and family. The consequences of adoration of things unholy are dire. Even if you discount God. Addiction is slavery--a fatal one. But there is God. And He does care what we do with our lives. And He has the right to judge that. And punish it.

"Take all the chiefs of the people and hang them in the sun before the Lord, that the fierce anger of the Lord may turn away from Israel!" God ordered Moses. God also sent a deadly plague that sickened the people. Sin will do that. Sicken us.

To the judges of Israel, Moses said: "Each of you kill those of his men who have yoked themselves to Baal of Peor."

A dire sentence. No doubt. There was a great deal of wailing at the entrance to the meeting tent. They didn't want any consequences for turning their backs on God. Suddenly, when He finally had had enough, they lay on the ground crying their pain. No matter the lost babies. No matter the crushed heart of the God Who loved them even as He watched them prostrate themselves before a stupid idol. The sin had to be purged in order for it to cease. Killed. Destroyed brutally. God chose to deal with sin for what it is: a life destroying cancer.

Into this scene comes a man trouncing up to his family tribe with his Midianite woman on his arm. Defying God to do anything to him. Laughing in the face of all the repentant wailing, seeing it as senseless. "She's my woman. I'm not bowing to this cacophony of misery. It's my choice!" His attitude.

Something in Phineas, Aaron's grandson, caught the absolute insolence of the moment--the complete disregard for what a Holy God had just pronounced. He stepped away from the group, went to his tent to retrieve a spear, and found the haughty adulterer in a temple chamber. Phineas stabbed both the man and the woman in their bellies. Killing them. And the plague stopped. But not before it killed off twenty-four thousand people.

"One man felt about this what I do," cried God. "He's turned back my wrath because he was jealous with my jealousy. Behold, I give to him my covenant of peace. Because he was jealous with my jealousy and made atonement for the people of Israel."

Jesus, of course, is our atoning sacrifice now. But what do we do with the "sin that so easily besets us?" What does God want me to do with my addictions? With my deeply sickened heart? With anger, hate, lying and offense? From this story, I will tell you: Brutal death. Intentional killing of the things that keep us from our relationship with God. Yes, God is a God of grace. But we must be about putting to death the unholy practices and idols of our lives. We used to be controlled by such things, when we were dying. When we didn't know better. But we can't bring them into life with Christ. We must choose to die to sin and live to Christ instead of parading our sinfulness around in church as if God doesn't care. As if, since He's a God of grace, He won't deal with it. Prancing about with our self-righteousness while in our closets we reek of sin. It's true. We do this. And God isn't pleased. Not only that, it will ultimately kill us. We will look and act so much like the rest of the world that the rest of the world won't be able to tell the difference. If we don't purge it from ourselves, God will do it for us. Because our sins cause us to look away from Him and go whoring after the world. His words, not mine. We kill sin before it kills us. Just as Phineas did. Outraged by the pompous exploitation of disobedience in the face of our God.

Set your mind on things above, not on things of the earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God...Put to death, therefore, what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these, the wrath of God is coming. In these you once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk form your mouth. Do not lie to each other, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its Creator.  Colossians 3

PSALM 106 - Looking Into The Eyes of a Turtle

The people made a golden calf at Mt. Sinai and worshiped a metal statue. They exchanged their glorious God for a statue of a bull that eats grass. They forgot the God Who saved them, Who had done great things in Egypt and amazing things by the Red Sea. So God said He would destroy them. But Moses, His chosen one, stood before Him and stopped God's anger from destroying them.
Then they refused to go into the beautiful land of Canaan. They did not believe what God had promised. They grumbled in their tents and did not obey the Lord. So He swore to them that they would die in the desert.   (Verses 19-26)

God shows His anger because some knowledge of Him has been made clear to them. Yes, God has shown Himself to them. There are things about Him that people cannot see--His eternal power and all the things that make Him God. But since the beginning of the world these things have been easy to understand by what God has made. So people have no excuse for the bad things they do. They knew God but did not give glory to God or thank Him. Their thinking became useless. Their foolish minds were filled with darkness. They said they were wise, but they became fools. They traded the glory of God Who lives forever for the worship of idols made to look like earthly people, birds, animals and snakes...they traded the truth of God for a lie. They worshiped and served what had been created instead of the God Who created those things, Who should be praised forever. Amen.  Romans 1

I like to think of myself as somewhat creative. Very right-brained. Although I hope the left side of my brain kicks in sometimes to bring some rationality into the process. I've written plays, books, poems and blogs. I've sewn dresses, slacks and Pink Lady jackets. I've landscaped several yards and decorated a few homes. But the most creative thing I've ever done had little to do with me and everything to do God. The miracle happened in my womb. Three times. And the beautiful results, of course, are my children. When they were little, I nursed them, wiped and diped them, comforted them and ultimately disciplined them. For a while, I was all they needed. They depended upon me to transition them from sucklings into toddlers and from toddlers to pre-schoolers. It was their father and I who gave them their world view. Who showed them how to live appropriately with others. So imagine how we would've felt if, when they hit kindergarten, they decided we didn't exist. At five years old, what if our kids decided the family dog was smarter than we are? Or the pet turtle?

"That's ridiculous," you say. I think so, too. For one thing, our kids would remain five years old emotionally and mentally if they decided to look elsewhere for sustenance and guidance in their ignorance. I'm doubting the turtle has much to offer a child who's fallen and hurt herself. Besides, there's so much we parents know that our kids can't possibly perceive. For instance, how in the world does a mommy and daddy ever get to the place where they have a house, or learn to drive a car, or are able to provide meals, give advice or prepare children for the dangers of this world? How does a kid navigate life without parents? Poorly. That's how.

The obvious point is that it's just as ridiculous for us to look to an idol to guide us as it is for a kid to ask her dog for life lessons and sustenance. And for the parent, whose little child has decided he no longer needs his daddy, the blow is crushing. And the decision deadly. I love our children more than anything on Earth. They're so precious to me I can't really articulate it. And so are we to our Father. Out of the abundance of His love and grace, He has welcomed us into His family. Made us joint heirs with Christ. Cried out a benediction over us by the power of the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1). Our God adores us. In much the same way as I adore my children. By the power of His brilliant and imaginative mind, God pulled up mountains and dug out oceans, dotted the hillsides with sheep and mustangs, wildflowers and rushing waterfalls, and flung the heavens with stars, planets and galaxies past our ability to truly fathom. The Creator engineered DNA to hold in one cell all that unlocks each divinely different person who ever lived. "Look," He cries. "Behold your God!" What a letdown when we choose heroin, relationship, power, or an actual statue of a false god instead! When, in our desire to hold ourselves accountable to no one higher than ourselves, we trade His glory for our next drink. When we talk to turtles while the glorious God sits waiting for us to recognize not only His might, but His heart.

No wonder we don't believe His promises. Serpents and cows don't deliver. God is too lofty for us once we've worshiped the bull that eats grass. Hearts too tied to this life miss the weightiness of the bigger plan. Finally wish to die and be turned to dust--and that is all. Our one time around then gone. Or perhaps we come back as a cow...or insect...or some other nonsense that flies in the face of all the God of Everything created us to know. By looking around. By understanding that design smacks of a Designer. That with such brilliance comes wisdom too vast for our little minds. Sovereignty too scary for our self will. Grace too great to cover our wizened, crippled lives. Better to medicate than meditate. For a God so big must demand more than we have energy to obey. And the heart of the Father is crushed as we seek the face of a turtle so as not to be too intimidated by the face of God.

He did what a good Father does. Came into the mess that is our lives and walked it with us. Showed us that magnificence could endure the mundane in order for us to actually see what He is like. Fulfilled the promise, not for a trip to Canaan, but to life eternal. Yet some still do not believe the story. Will follow lesser gods into a lesser kingdom. It is our choice to sit in our tents and grumble or follow with God-breathed faith our Creator to heights not available when we are foolish enough to think any earthly thing can match joy unspeakable and full of glory. And the Father weeps to see us trade that for the addictions we think keep us sane. Thus believing the lie when the Truth has, from the very beginning, sought to awe us with His glory.

PSALM 106 - My First Word Was "No!"

Both we and our fathers have sinned. We have committed iniquity. We have done wickedness. Our fathers, when they were in Egypt, did not consider Your wondrous works. They did not remember the abundance of Your steadfast love, but rebelled by the sea, at the Red Sea. Yet He saved them for His name's sake, that He might make known His mighty power. He rebuked the Red Sea and it became dry, and He led them through the deep as through a desert. So He saved them from the hand of the foe and redeemed them from the power of the enemy. And the waters covered their adversaries. Not one of them was left. Then they believed His words. They sang His praise.
But they soon forgot His works. They did not wait for His counsel. But they had wanton cravings in the wilderness, and put God to the test in the desert..... (Verses 6-14)

The first words my children spoke were Da-da and no. In that order. Ma-ma came later. Oh, well. What in us, and it's not just the Farishes, causes our first response to boundaries to be NO! We are born to be self-willed little smarty-pants. People who want our own way even when we are too small to even know the ramifications of our own desires. All I had to do to create an opposite response from my kids was to tell them what they could not do. Immediately, that became the very thing they had to accomplish. Sound anything like the first few chapters of Genesis? But that one tree was such a tester. And rules show us our hearts in a way life without them doesn't. But life without parameters is chaos. Here's what I noticed about my children later on, though. My boundaries were fixed when they were babies, then toddlers, then preschool, etc. Not always the same rules because they were growing up and understanding ramifications by then. But less and less did I have to punish them. Why? Because they understood the boundaries were about my love for them. My kids will tell you this. At some point the rules were not as important as the respect my children had for me and their dad. They caught the spirit of the authority over them. Would rather not break the rule because it would cause disappointment or sorrow in us. And they loved us too much to want that. They weren't perfect as we aren't before our Father, but the intent to please is still there in them. And, I pray, transferred in spirit to their relationship with their God and Savior.

The finger of God wrote ten laws, rules for His people, on smooth stone tablets in the presence of Moses on Mount Sinai. He wanted His children to know the things He won't allow. Parameters for their lives that make living not only doable but prosperous. The reason they needed these rules was apparent by the craven behavior they were participating in at the very moment God's hand was writing their rule book. The children He loved so much were dancing naked before a gold cow they'd made to replace their Redeemer God. Drunk and salacious, out of control, breaking the heart of God. If He'd not told them how to live, they'd have destroyed themselves in the desert. Never arriving at the land He'd promised to bless them in. Yes, Moses had to go up the mountain a second time because he broke the first set of commandments over their heads. So mad, Moses took on the indignity the One Who'd love them enough to free them from slavery surely felt as He, too, watched the debauchery of His children. But the difference in the people and Moses is that Moses loved His God. Knew Him intimately. Walked and talked with Him as friend to friend. Knew His voice from the burning bush. Trusted God's hand to make a stick miraculous. Moses had history with God. But if he'd not obeyed all God told Him to do, the Israelites might still be in Egypt. Moses obeyed a God he loved.

Commandments reign us in. Make life manageable. The law was given by God to show us what sin is. Without the law we are anarchists with no boundaries. Animals surviving by eating off each other. So the law tells us who we are. And what God wants for us, not from us. The law is about loving us enough to want us to live in harmony with each other and with Him. We obey, at first, simply because it's a law and breaking it has consequences. God said, "No!" So we don't. Mean old God. Why would He say I can't have sex before marriage or steal from the department store? Why do I have to obey my parents or love only Him? So maybe in the beginning we stomp around like my kids did and just do the thing because we don't want God to whack our backsides. But God made the rules so we'd have relationship to Him--so we'd be bonded to Him as child to parent. Although God sent Moses down the mountain with a rule book, He didn't excuse Himself from His people and leave them with God's Ten Things That Will Ruin Your Fun. No! In a cloud by day and with fire by night, the Father of the children of Israel inhabited the camp with them. The point wasn't, "Obey these rules or else, and I'm coming back in two weeks to see how well you did!" The point was, if you obey the demands, I can get you where I have promised with an oath to take you. If you obey my directives, You will love me and become like Me. And you will make the journey swift and bearable." They didn't. And it took forty years too long for the Egypt crowd to die off so their children could receive the promise. Joshua and Caleb caught the spirit of authority. Knew why Moses loved His God. Loved Him, too. It was the boundaries God set that actually showed how much He cared for His wandering children. Had they understood the heart of their God in the beginning, the journey to Canaan would've taken less than a month!

The Ten Commandments used to scare me as a little Baptist Christian girl. What if I don't get it right all the time? And I didn't, which was even more disturbing. I really wanted God to be proud of me. Maybe He'd give me a good citizenship button to wear. And in my humility, I'm sure I'd have worn it with pride. It really wasn't until I became an adult, had children myself, that I fully appreciated the rules. "Don't touch the stove!" wasn't about ruining my kid's fun. It was about protection. "Don't cross the street!" wasn't a command to keep my kids from playing with the other kid beckoning from the sidewalk on the other side. All my rules were about loving my children. And they had to become a little older and a little wiser to get that. What mother actually lets her kid play in the street? What kind of God lets us destroy ourselves? My rules weren't perfect. God's are. And He is. Now that I have a few gray hairs (possibly, I keep my hair blond, so maybe I do), my desire to obey my God is born of my relationship with Him. Not only do I seek to please Him, but I understand more every day how my boundaries enrich my life. No more giving in to wanton cravings...in fact, I hope no more wildernesses. I've been thirsty and hungry as a result of No!. May my response be ever Yes! to the One Who loves me enough to slap my hand once in a while in order to save my life. And Yes! to the Spirit of God Whose indwelling presence in me helps me keep the law in a way the wandering Israelites couldn't have imagined.

There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
Romans 8

PSALM 106 - Unkempt Faith

Praise the Lord! Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever! Who can utter the mighty deeds of the Lord or declare all His praise? Blessed are they who observe justice, who do righteousness at all times! Remember me, O Lord, when you show favor to Your people. Help me when You save them, that I may look upon the prosperity of Your chosen ones, that I may rejoice in the gladness of Your nation, that I may glory with Your inheritance.  (Verses 1-5)

According to His great mercy, He has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed at the last time.   1 Peter 1

This psalm is going to recount the miracles of God performed over and over again for a people who tended to forget about them almost as soon as they happened. People whose hearts were selfish and prideful. A generation of slave laborers who quickly forgot what they were saved from, grumbling and complaining on the way to what they were being saved to. The Israelites, chosen by God, not because they were stellar human beings always doing righteousness at all times. God chose them...because He chose them. His call. And guess what? They were just people like we are. But the expectation is that when they actually know Him, it makes them different. It whets the appetite to know Him better, this One Whose love endures forever--Who goes deeply into our bone marrow to reform our puny lifeblood, transforming our DNA to match His.

The miracles our God performed for His chosen people as they wandered in the wilderness journey toward Canaan were profound. A giant rendering of His love and protection. Perhaps the problem was they had to step back from the canvas to see the whole picture, and only Moses was capable of such a feat. Parting seas to reveal dry land, plagues, and food, clothing that never wears out, a cloud of glory filled with His purposes and a pillar of fire to light their way. Quail dropping from heaven and water gushing in rivers onto the desert sand. Ultimately, cities were taken simply by the silent marching of a million people and the sound of trumpets. But these miracles didn't bring the change in their hearts their Father hoped for. There was but one miracle left in order to cause His children to inherit all that is His. To finally understand what lengths their Father would go to in order to share all that is His with all who are His. The miracle that would bring that about dwarfed anything God had ever manifested on Earth. It actually shook the planet, plunging it into total darkness. The Light of the World for a brief moment snuffed out.

"Help me, Lord, when you save Your people!" The cry of the psalmist became ours. No longer are the Jews alone chosen by God, but the rest of us, too, can now become His very own. Someone has to die in order for there to be an inheritance. We get what was promised to us by the person who dies. Her home or jewelry. His business or Harley Davidson. What was theirs is now ours. So it is with God. We inherit all that belongs to Christ because by His death and resurrection, we are brothers and sisters of His; therefore, joint heirs with Christ. And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to the promise (Galatians 3:29).  What kind of God is willing to sacrifice Himself in order to make us His kids? Who wants before we even know He loves us for us to belong to Him? And what is it He wants from us? Love. Intentional and reciprocal. Like any other father. Only our Father is capable of pure love, untainted and unreserved--no conditions. Once, through faith in Christ, we are adopted into His chosen family, we are His forever. Our God guards our faith, loves us when we are faithless, drives our lives in love to finally see us arrive home to our imperishable, undefiled and unfading inheritance!

Better than the parting of the seas, more awesome than manna from heaven or the shaking of Mount Sinai, holier than the cloud that covered the tabernacle, greater than the Law that came from the finger of God, is the miracle of His coming to Earth to walk its dust and eat its food. To share with us the experience of being human so that we could share with Him forever the experience of being divine. Miracles once again attested to the fact that Jesus is omnipotent. We marveled at raising of the dead, the healing of the blind, lame and leprous, the demon boy vomiting up the spirits of his travail, and the adulterous woman slathered in the dignity of His touch. The mystery of the ages. The plan into which angels longed to look. The most profound miracle of all promises me I can be born anew, not into my earthly family, but into His eternal one. And the miracles were no more the point with Jesus than they were in the desert. The point is, of course, the God of All wants relationship with me...and you. And He went to the greatest lengths possible to attain that. Therefore, we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard lest we drift away from it...How shall we escape if we neglect such a great salvation (Hebrews 2)?

 

PSALM 105 - The Rest of the Story

Then He brought out Israel with silver and gold, and there was none among His tribes who stumbled. Egypt was glad when they departed, for dread of them had fallen upon it. He spread a cloud for a covering, and fire to give light by night. They asked, and He brought quail, and gave them bread from heaven in abundance. He opened the rock and water gushed out. It flowed through the desert like a river. For He remembered His holy promise, and Abraham, His servant. So He brought His people out with joy, His chosen ones with singing. And He gave them the lands of the nations, and they took possession of the fruit of the peoples' toil that they might keep His statutes and observe His laws. Praise the Lord!
(Verses 37-45)

Selective memory. My first thought when I read these verses this morning. Where was all the complaining about why they were stuck in the desert? Israel moaned and groaned that all they had to eat was manna...where was the beef? God rained down quail because of their harping on what they didn't have. Moses struck the rock because his flock almost stoned him because they were so thirsty. So water gushed into a desert that seemed devoid of it. Flooded the sandy feet of a million sojourners.

But this psalm is about God, not about us. It's about His faithfulness to us on our journeys, not about our crabbing at Him every step of the way. Our deliverance from the power this world used to have over us is initially pure joy. I remember the inception of the love affair I embarked upon with Jesus. Waving good-bye to the devil with my little newborn hand as my Savior carried me against His chest into new life. Saying good-bye to the Egypt of my oppression with the delight of one who escapes a near death experience. It was all singing and dancing back then. My honeymoon with my Beloved. Jesus knew I wasn't able yet to walk as a Christian, so He carried me a while. Bent to show me the wonders of the new path, stopping to smell the flowers and teaching me about the Father. Then one day, Jesus gently set me down to take some wobbly steps on my own. Unsure, I constantly reached to Him for reassurance and support. But His desire is for me to grow up and trust. To know Him well enough that I'm confident of His love when He seems far. To know His voice, the cut of His eyes, the intentions of His heart. My Father wants me to look like a kid of His...and act like one, too.

With my selective memory I could tell you about my journey from six years of age to today. That it was all joy and obedience. You know that wouldn't be the whole story, and if it were, I'd be so out of touch with the rest of the family of God as to be taken up into heaven immediately. But what I can attest to, just as the psalmist is, is that my God has always, ever been faithful to His covenant with me. Though I'm faithless, He is faithful (2 Timothy 2:13). I love Him because He first loved me, and gave Himself up for me. Lest I sugar coat His experience with me, let me just say He's put up with more than I could stomach. So, why does my God keep providing and guiding? Because He made a promise to me He intends to keep in spite of me. Because God has a road I'm to walk, a desert I'm to traverse, a Canaan He's prepared to lead me to and He's committed to put up with me until I get there.

This has changed me. Who loves me like that? Only Jesus. When I think of how patient He is, it stills my waves. Makes me try harder with others...and myself. When I think of what He's trudged through to get me out of my messes, it makes me think before I go gallivanting off on my own now. I've come round Mt. Sinai a thousand times in my God's efforts to take me into His promises for me. Trying to learn the lesson one more time. Until it sticks and I can go forward. So I don't want to tell you about all the things my Father's done for me without you realizing what it cost Him to pour out quail or open my mouth to living water. Everything. That's what He paid for the privilege of loving me. It's what I want to give back. Everything. Reciprocate prodigal love, seemingly wasted on a child prone to wander. Magnificent, holy, omnipotent God stooping to make us know Him. Answering our whims, putting up with our complaints, digging us out of our pits, and rescuing us from our choices. Yep. Don't leave out the part where we don't measure up. That is the wonder of His love.

PSALM 105 - A Rapist and a Murderer. Who Would've Guessed?

Then Israel came to Egypt. Jacob sojourned in the land of Ham. And the Lord made His people very fruitful and made them stronger than their foes. He turned their hearts to hate His people, to deal craftily with His servants. He sent Moses, His servant, and Aaron, whom He had chosen. They performed His signs among them and miracles in the land of Ham. (Verses 23-27)

Eighty years before, a mother put her baby in a basket of reeds and sent it floating down the river right in front of a bathing princess. Hearing the baby cry, the princess lifted the lid to see a fine Hebrew child three months old staring through his teardrops at her. And she loved him. Named him Moses, her little bulrush baby. He grew up as a prince. Thought that bought him the right to murder an Egyptian who didn't agree with him. Then he ran away from royalty at the age of forty and herded sheep in Midian with his father-in-law. For forty more years. Dirty sandals, sweaty robes and the smell of sheep manure in his hair. Who'd expect the God of All to meet him among the baaing sheep at the bottom of Mount Sinai? On an ordinary day. When Moses was an old, forgotten man.

"I'm a nobody, God!" cried Moses when the Lord told him to go free Israel from Egypt. "I stutter and stammer. No way I can do what you want me to."

Stuck then with Aaron, Moses was on his way to set God's people free. Knee-deep in mud bricks and oppressed in their labor, the nation of Israel balked. But the man who thought he couldn't do what God told him to do, performed with a wooden stick miracles that brought Egypt to its knees.

It ought to encourage us. This story of Moses. And the one before, of Joseph. Would you have picked either of them to change history? Me, either. Why? One is a sheep farmer, an exile who'd murdered a man. The other a skinny kid found in a well and sold into slavery. In prison for rape. Hardly the choicest of men on the surface. Maybe we aren't always what we seem to others--or even to ourselves. Had God chosen the most handsome, most able, most intelligent, most righteous, most motivated of men, it wouldn't be so obvious our God made change happen. After all, Jesus came into the world deemed to be Mary's bastard child. A carpenter's kid. No one, really. I mean, how could anything good come out of Nazareth? God Himself chose to be a nobody. Allowed Himself to be stripped of His glory. And in our world, it's the movie stars, the rich and famous, senators and governors, presidents and mullahs we deem worthy. Betting God has a different viewpoint.

Joseph found his early identity in his gift of interpreting dreams. He knew it was special. Maybe it made him proud. I've heard that preached. But the gift wasn't what his life was all about. It was part of it. But it wasn't what God wanted to define him. He didn't go on to be a popular dream interpreter--a seer and magician making billions at the box office. Joseph was given his gift as part of what God wanted him to be. To get him to a greater destiny.

Moses was a prince. It gave him clout. That, too, was a gift. 'Cause he wasn't really royalty. Adopted and reared by a princess didn't give the bulrush baby Egyptian blood. Until midlife, it was his identity. Then he blew it (or did he?) and fled. To obscurity. It wasn't being a prince God wanted to use in his life. But it was part of what God used to ultimately move His people back to Canaan.

So, what am I thinking gives me my identity? I'm older now myself, so my answer has changed over the years. But I know I've made the mistake of thinking that my writing, my teaching, my mothering, my being a wife, a daughter, my work-out routine, my business...I've quite the list! Hmm...are what I am. Not a part of where my God might take me. How He might use me. And often in the stripping of the very things I expect my God to use to push my destiny forward, I find in the vacuum the presence of miraculous opportunity--my Father literally making something out of nothing.

If you've been stripped of your dream, left to walk in the mundane for a while, don't panic. It might not be your strengths your God is after, but your weakness after all. He dreams much larger dreams than we do. And the one gift you think is what your life is all about might just be part of a much larger portrait that when finished will be the masterpiece that is your life.

PSALM 105 - Dreams And A Dead End

When He summoned a famine on the land and broke all supply of bread, He had sent a man ahead of them, Joseph, who was sold as a slave. His feet were hurt with fetters. His neck was put in a collar of iron. Until what He said came to pass, the word of the Lord tested Him. The king sent and released him. The ruler of the peoples set him free. He made him lord of his house and ruler of all his possessions, to bind his princes at his pleasure and to teach his elders wisdom.  (Verses 16-22)

 Though his father had twelve sons, Joseph was the favorite. Jacob's wife, Rachel, was barren until, when it was almost too late, Joseph filled her vacant womb. The boy was young when his brothers were old enough to go out into the fields to work. He was at home and spoiled, even, as the apple of his father's eye. Joseph pranced about in a brightly-colored tunic specially made for him by his dad. Prone to tattling, the young boy found himself in trouble with the older boys who already hated the fact he was so favored. Then there were the dreams.

"Hey, you guys, you know what I dreamed last night?" Joseph to his brothers.

"Here he goes again," said Reuben to the others. "What this time, Joseph?"

"We were all out in the fields binding wheat when my sheaf stood and rose upright. Then, I looked, and all of your sheaves bowed down to mine!" Joseph is smiling. Loves the dreams. "Isn't that wild?"

"You think you will rule and reign over us, boy?" It made the boys furious. Little pipsqueak.

At breakfast on a day not much later, Joseph tells the family another of his dreams. "The sun, the moon, and eleven stars were bowing down to me."

This was even too much for Jacob! "What! You think your mother and I along with all your brothers are going to bow to you?" Wonder what that means. Pondered it because he kind of believed in those dreams his kid had.

When he was seventeen, his brothers had enough and threw him into an empty well. Thinking they might kill him. Instead packed him up in a caravan going to Egypt where he was sold to Potiphar, an officer of the Pharaoh. Many of the years in Egypt, Joseph was in prison for the rape of Potiphar's wife. Innocent of the charges, he languished there. It was his ability to dream that ultimately got him released and placed in the house of the Pharaoh. So trusted and loved was Joseph that he was put in charge of everything except the throne. And the sheaf stood up.

I have often thought about what must have gone on in the mind of Joseph from the days of the pit to the time of the throne. Wasted years in prison for no reason. Thwarted attempts to be freed even though he interpreted dreams for those who then forgot him. He must have cried out to his God, "What am I doing here?" It was unfair. Though he could've accused God when he accused his brothers, he didn't. Joseph kept his integrity, even sexually. He ran from Potiphar's wife rather than sin against his God and her husband. How can we do all the right things and still find ourselves in such a mess?

It turns out God was in the middle of the mess all along. What looked like a dead end, failure to the max, losing family, dignity and purpose, was really God's highway to fame. The plan involved the testing of Joseph's metal, but it wasn't the point of it. The apex of the plan was God saving His nation, Israel, from famine. He sent Joseph on ahead. Wove his life through the pathways leading to his destiny. Ignoble at first, pride in a multi-colored robe left in Canaan. The gift given by the Holy Spirit was, however, irrevocable and necessary to Joseph's greater story. In fact, so prominent was his ability to interpret dreams, even the worldly Pharaoh said, "Can we find a man like this, in whom is the Spirit of God?" The very gifting that caused such jealousy in the ones who should've recognized it as God-given, was embraced by a heathen king. For God's purposes.

Famine brought the family of Jacob to Egypt looking for a hand-out. And the sheaves bowed down. The dream wasn't the fantasy of a little kid. It was the message of a prescient God. A foreshadowing that one day they'd need a savior. And He'd provide one. In fact, was thinking about their future long before their bellies ached with hunger and their mouths dried up with thirst. Ever wonder if God cares about what's happening to you right now? Ever think it's so unfair that life has taken such a turn? Trust. Like Joseph did, that finally there will be a day when your journey is more clear, your path more direct. And know your Father, Who loves you with a steadfast love, has worked out your destiny before you each step of the way. 

PSALM 105 - Warts And All

When they were few in number and of little account, and sojourners in it (the land), wandering from nation to nation, from one kingdom to another people, He allowed no one to oppress them. He rebuked kings on their account, saying, "Touch not my anointed ones, do my prophets no harm." (Verses 12-15)

Sarai was gorgeous. Abram's half-sister...and wife. A famine in their own land forced them into Egypt. Knowing that Sarai's beauty would captivate all her saw her, Abram told her to lie. Say she is his sister, not his wife, if any should ask. His fear? They would kill him to keep her. The princes of Pharaoh did see Abram's wife and praised her beauty to the Pharaoh, who took her into his harem. The Egyptian ruler paid Abram well for his "sister." Sheep, oxen, male donkeys, male servants, female servants, female donkeys and camels. So Abram kept his mouth shut. An iffy husband, at best. Only thing is, a great plague came with her. From the day she entered his courts, Pharaoh had nothing but trouble. Too sick to care about taking her as a wife. Sarai was safe. For the time being.

"What have you done to us?" cried Pharaoh when the vomiting and nausea let up a little. "Why did you lie and say this woman was your sister?" Sarai was standing there beside the mighty ruler, looking lovely. Glad to see her man come to get her. "Take her! Get out!" And Pharaoh let him keep the farm he'd given to Abram. Now a rich man.

That was the first time Abram played that game. The second was with Abimelech, king of Gerar. God had renamed Abram, Abraham. Sarai was now Sarah. Both names mean princess. Hmmm. Abram meant exalted father. But Abraham, father of a multitude. And Sarah, the princess, was barren. What a soap opera of "little account" people. Lying the same lies. Caught in the same circumstances. Their God always having to redeem their messes. Abimelech couldn't sleep. "You're a dead man!" said God to him in a dream.

"What?!" The king is nonplussed. "What have I done?"

"You've taken another man's wife!" God judged.

"I haven't approached her! She's just like she came to me! Please don't kill me and innocent people!" Abimelech is sweating in the dream. "I didn't know! I took her with integrity of heart. He lied!"

"I know, Abimelech," replied a softened God in the dream. "I am the One Who didn't let you touch her. But if you don't return her to her husband, you will surely die!"

End of dream
.
As God promised his anointed prophet would do, Abraham prayed for Abimelech. God had made the king's entire house barren because of Sarah. Their wombs were opened when Abraham prayed. Oh, the irony.

Then Abraham, father of multitudes, takes his princess wife and drives before him all the sheep and oxen and servants the king gave him to appease the God Who scared him to death. In his tunic pocket jingle a thousand pieces of silver given to him by Abimelech as a sign he didn't touch Sarah sexually. Abraham and his own barren wife then traveled on. It would be years before Isaac, their boy "laughter" is born. Sarah no longer turning heads. Abraham too old to care. What in the world was God doing?

Choosing, I think. Certainly the God of Abraham didn't covenant with him because of the man's stellar integrity. It was after the Pharaoh's near miss that the God of the Universe made covenant promises of future multitudes coming from the loins of Abram. God decided this was the man. Struck a blood soaked oath with him, initiated by His own choosing. "You will be a great nation." And his Sarai barren. "But not yet." In the interim, God used the goods of the world to enrich the man and woman. Used their plotting and lying, even, to bring them into His promises. God the protector of the ones He chose to love. God knowing where their wanderings would take them. Saw something in Abraham and Sarah others couldn't. They'd believe. And when they didn't? He moved their destinies along anyway. Making kings and princes bend to what He wanted.

Are you worried today that He won't come through for you? Do you think He's incapable these days of interfacing with the problems of your life? Our God has chosen us as surely as He chose the father of multitudes and His little princess. He's made covenant with us, the new covenant in His blood, to abide in and with us through everything. Including the stuff we do that's not so pretty. Abraham and Sarai should give us courage to believe that we can be far from perfect, though we shouldn't strive for that, and still have God fight with us through this life. He's at work in me and for me. Despite me. He can open the barren womb of a ninety year old woman and bring forth a child aptly named Laughter. God still can raise the dead, heal the sick, provide for our needs and rescue us from the pit. All because He chooses to love us "little account" ones who sojourn on Earth. God knows what He has planned for our lives. Where we fit in. How to use even our mistakes to move us forward. Life is messy. It got messier even for Abraham, the father of our faith. But in the midst of our personal chaos is a God committed to us by covenant love. Warts and all.

So then it depends not on man's willing or man's running, but on God.  Romans 9