PSALM 119 - What's Your Theme Song?

Remember Your word to Your servant. You have given me hope through it. This is my comfort in my affliction. Your promise has given me life. The arrogant constantly ridicule me, but I do not turn away from Your instruction. Lord, I remember Your judgments from long ago and find comfort. Rage seizes me because of the wicked who reject Your instruction. Your statutes are the theme of my song during my earthly life. Yahweh, I remember Your Name in the night, and I obey Your instruction. This is my practice: I obey Your precepts.  (Verses 49-56)
Italics, mine

What has been the theme of your life? The nexus of your story? What defines your sojourning on this earth? Theme: subject, topic, subject matter, thesis, argument, text, burden, thread, motif, keynote. What fragrance will your life leave on the path you walked?

 My friend, Mary, called me from the grocery store on Sunday. "Were you just in Albertson's?" she asked.

"No, why?" was my response.

"It smelled like you on the wine aisle...in a good way. I smelled your perfume."

Hmm. That's what I want for my theme. That people will be able to tell where I've been...and in a good way. In His wake, Jesus left people different than He found them. Healed, restored, redeemed, loved, forgiven, hopeful, cleansed and ultimately, saved! The phrase in italics above is literally the song in the house of my sojourning. The song my soul sings. Me. The new tabernacle of His Presence. What's being played there today? Last night I was up for a while. It rained. An anomaly here in Southern California. The noise awakened me, then I noticed the song going on in my spirit. Playing in the temple even as I slept. Behold what manner of love the Father has given unto us. That we should become the sons of God...that we should become the sons of God. It dawns on me now that is the theme of my sojourning. My adoption. The wonder of it. The fact that God would give entrance into His family to anyone who calls on His name.

Affliction challenges our stories. It's often the antagonist to our moving forward. The stilling of our song. But if the theme of our lives is Jesus and His grace, our song must still be sung. Pain can't define us. Heartache crush us. Confusion can't stop the plot line from its victorious climax. He is our story! He is our song. Only by faith in the many promises of God do we find comfort. Our lives suspended between Heaven and Earth just as Jesus was in His own affliction. "I will never leave you or forsake you." Because Jesus was forsaken for us in the bigger story that is our salvation, we can fulfill our destinies in Him with hope.

Our perfume stinks to some. Smells like death. The martyrs were crushed because there are those who would eradicate the odor of faith. The comfort in this injustice is that God always wins. Always triumphs over the enemy. Even our death is victory. As I write this there are Christians all over the world struggling to keep the song of their sojourn alive in prisons or in covert places of worship. Faith in God and His precepts keep them going. Knowing God. Letting Him live large in our jars of clay. And understanding the theme of our lives isn't our own personal happiness, prosperity, power or prestige. It's higher. Eternal. And the more transcendent our faith the more furious the enemy becomes.

I'd like to think of our lives this way. We are travelers sent from our Father into an alien land. People there don't know Him except for our meeting them on the foreign soil. We've been equipped for the travel. Our Father speaks to us on our interior GPS all the time, guiding and encouraging the sometimes dangerous, often frustrating, trek. Sometimes people give us a place to lay our heads, sometimes people throw us away. What matters is that we know Whose we are and where we are ultimately headed. Driven by purpose, sustained by His Word, we practice, step by step, doing what He tells us to do, as God leads us over, under and through, or ends our journey when we fall into His arms at home. The trip gets sweaty, there are many dips and bumps in the road, but the underlying song is the same: I know my Redeemer lives! May I gather many aimless travelers on my way. May Jesus always be the song of my journey and the theme of my life.
 

PSALM 119 - You Think My Breath is Bad!!!

Lord, show me Your love and save me as You promised. I have an answer for people who insult me, because I trust what You say. Never keep me from speaking the truth because I depend on Your fair laws. I will obey Your teachings forever and ever. So I will live in freedom because I want to follow Your orders. I will discuss Your rules with kings and not be ashamed. I enjoy obeying Your commands, which I love. I praise Your commands, which I love, and think about Your demands.  (Verses 41-48)

Then we will no longer be babies. We will not be tossed about like a ship that the waves carry one way and then another. We will not be influenced by every new teaching we hear from people who are trying to fool us. They make plans and try any kind of trick to fool people into following the wrong path. No! Speaking the truth in love, we will grow up in every way in Christ!
Ephesians 4  italics, mine

There was an amazing barbeque place in Austin, Texas, in the sixties called Shady Grove. It was a favorite date spot for Bill and me when he came down from Dallas on the weekends to see me. He'd already graduated. I, being much younger, was still in school. On an erstwhile Saturday, we ate brisket and sausage, onions and potato salad, and too many pieces of grilled Texas toast and headed off to play tennis. In the car on the way to the courts at the park, Bill said, "Your breath smells bad."

Oh, my gosh! I couldn't believe he'd said that so matter-of-factly. Me, his love. The one whose hand he held. Whose eyes he looked lovingly into. Has bad breath? Here's the thing. Bill reaked of onions from lunch. But did I, in my spirit of gracious acceptance, say anything about that to him? Of course not! I was sweeter than that. "Your breath stinks, too." My loving response. I kinda hated him the rest of the day.

I still don't know the nicest way to tell someone her breath stinks. I worked with a woman for ten years whose breath could knock me over from ten feet away and never said anything for lack of a good way to address it. There's got to be a happy solution to telling the truth.

The obvious problem is that of Bill and me. Both of us were guilty. So if you tell someone the truth about their situation, you become vulnerable to having the same judgment fall back on yourself. Also, there is the matter of hurting their feelings. Making them mad at you. Is bad breath a high enough reason to breach a friendship? How do we speak the truth in love?

The Arizona law that Governor Brewer just vetoed had me thinking about this during the week. The law would've given business owners the right to reject service to gays and lesbians based upon their religious beliefs. For instance, a Christian baker could refuse to bake a cake for a gay wedding. Making a law of a religious tenet. I'm not making an effort to engage in the political correctness or incorrectness of the law. But I've just wondered this week how Jesus would address the issue. I really can't imagine Him declining the wedding cake. I don't think He would officiate at the union. But I think we might have found Him at the wedding speaking the truth...being the Truth. Our judgments hammered into the world whose hearts haven't been changed by the grace we've accepted won't bring people closer to Jesus.

On the other hand, God has given us rules, tenets, commands. And the first, and most important of all is to love the Lord, our God, with all our hearts, soul and strength. The second, Jesus said, is to love your neighbor as much as you love yourself. Again with the heart. One that is given over to Him is also given over to others. We want to tell the truth. To a sister who is in sin. To a brother who is making a huge mistake. To the world who thinks we only do religious stuff in order to lord our righteousness over their heathen souls. How we say what we say makes a tremendous difference. Just as why we say it does. The world won't know Christ from hearts that condemn. Jesus said, "God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world guilty, but that the world, through Him, could be saved (John 3:17)." Who are we, then, to pass judgment? We keep God's laws for ourselves because we love God! Forcing our family rules on the family next door who doesn't even know us is silly.

I'm not supposed to commit adultery, cheat, lie, steal, covet, murder or disobey my parents. My Father told me this. I think what the world sees when we impose Christian life upon them is that we want them to be as miserable as we are. If our attempts are to make the non-Christian conform to rules instead of to Christ, we have only spoken the truth. Without love. If we don't first care about others, we've missed it entirely. Jesus came to save us, eat with us, heal us, pray over us, calm our storms, show us our hypocrisy, touch our leprous fingers and open our blinded eyes. And when Jesus spoke the truth, "You are right to say you have no husband. Really you have had five husbands and the man you are living with isn't your husband. You have told the truth (John 4)," it was because He loved the woman...or man...or child...or me. That adulterous Samaritan woman whom the nice religious women of the community would not even have at their well was the first person to whom Jesus proclaimed Himself as Messiah.

Living for Jesus is freedom for those who have been set free. What He asks us to do isn't bondage, but a reciprocation of His love. Those outside of relationship with Him will best understand why we won't do certain things by our loving responses to them, not by our throwing them away. I can say with Paul that "I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ because it is the power of God to save those who are lost (Romans 1)." I want everyone to know Him. May I share with the grace and mercy of one whose many sins have been wiped away, with a grateful heart of compassion for those who live each day without my Jesus.

PSALM 119 - It's All Gonna Burn!

Teach me, O Lord, the way of Your statutes, and I will keep it to the end. Give me understanding that I may keep Your law and observe it with my whole heart. Lead me in the path of Your commandments, for I delight in it. Incline my heart to Your testimonies and not to selfish gain! Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things, and give me life in Your ways. Confirm to Your servant Your promise that You may be revered. Turn away the reproach that I dread, for Your rules are good. Behold, I long for Your precepts. In Your righteousness, give me life!  (Verses 33-40)  Italics, mine

But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as dung (refuse, offal) in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him.  Philippians 3

I live near the famous South Coast Plaza mall in Orange County, California. On any given day, it's filled with well-heeled men and women mulling over expensive shoes, imported perfume, splashy diamonds and every other worldly thing imaginable. Outside, their Teslas, Mercedes, Audis and Roll Royces are parked by valet at the entrance by Macy's. It's not unusual to see people whose bodies have been enhanced and altered so that they look younger or, arguably, more beautiful. Pretense is sold for top dollar where I live. It's easy to get caught up in what one doesn't have here. Just as easily as it is to define one's self by all her stuff.

On Christmas several years ago, Bill surprised me with a gift. It was the last present under the tree, as it happened. A ring I'd admired at a jewelry store in Los Angeles. I couldn't have been more surprised. Bill spent his Christmas bonus on it. We all cried because it was just so heartbreakingly sweet. And the ring is, of course, gorgeous! I'm wearing it now. But I lost it for a while. Thought at first that someone had taken it out of our house, which, by the way, I'd turned upside down. Even took the drains apart in the bathroom thinking it could have dropped down into their depths. It just wasn't there! I cried. And cried. For a couple of months it was daily on my mind. Then one day I randomly pulled some clothing out of one of my drawers and heard a clinking on the wooden bottom of it. Curious, I emptied the drawer to find my ring. Tears of joy. Backtracking in my mind to figure out why it was there. I couldn't believe I was reunited with the precious gift I'd lost! Misplaced, really. Caught up with other clothing that lay on my bathroom counter the fateful day it went missing. Bound up in the tee-shirt I'd been wearing and thrown into a drawer. Dear to me more for the sentiment and love it represented than for its actual value, which is considerable.

On the day I asked Jesus into my life as my Lord, I received a priceless gift. Forgiveness of my sins. Which are considerable. A home in heaven which is indestructible.There is nothing at South Coast Plaza that can repair my little heart. Nothing I can buy or sell to correct its many-faceted failings. No guru can make my neediness vanish with a mantra. No evangelist can erase my debts and make me clean by declaring that God owes me prosperity and painless living. I can't buy what Jesus offers. It is a gift. Paid for by Him. Every other thing on Earth is dung compared to my relationship with Jesus. The word is only used once in the New Testament. Paul meant it to be shocking. It refers to poop, of course, but also to offal, the guts of sacrificed animals. What is thrown away and disgusting. If we are looking to Him for worldly gain, we still have our eyes on refuse. Christ is our gain! In Him we lack nothing. Without Him we have nothing of value. Just as the ring is valuable to me because of the love and sacrifice with which it was given, so is the greater gift of my relationship with Jesus.

We need to work. To make money. To survive and give. But monetary gain shouldn't be our life focus. For one thing, we don't take it with us. All my clothes will remain in my closet when I die, my car will be in the garage and my jewelry left for my kids. It can't be what we live for! Life, true life, is knowing God. Created by Him for His purposes on the Earth He formed. How do we think we can live without our connection to God? Filling our hearts and lives with eternally worthless things that somehow have come to give us self worth? It's a lie. It's all dung in the end, when we take our dying breath, and all we are able to do is look around at all the things we will leave behind. It's like Paul wanted us to smell the difference between the fragrance of Christ and the stench of our own reliance on things.

Once again it's a matter of the heart. Always with God, a matter of the heart. Where our hearts are our treasure is. When we understand that God is crazy about us, wants more for us than we can ever give to ourselves, we are free to love Him with abandon. And we are, also, freed from the idea that knowing Him is all about who we aren't...can't be. That reproach the psalmist is talking about. The dread of the rules we'll be under if we draw close to God in a covenant relationship. Make Him all kinds of promises we can't keep. It's when we revere God as our Eternal Father Who gives us parameters, not random rules, that we are freed to live as children, disciplined and watched over. Tenets that work in the order of the universe God, our Father, created. They are good! They make sense! And we obey because we know His precepts give us life! Not death. The rules don't save us! Obeying them is the result of a heart changed by the exchange of a gift. No mall has it. It comes from the hand of God. Everything is of nugatory value compared with it. Nothing is valuable without it. Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life in Your ways!!!



 

PSALM 119 - My Enlarged Heart

My soul clings to the dust. Give me life according to Your word! When I told of my ways, You answered me. Teach me Your statutes! Make me understand the way of Your precepts, and I will meditate on Your wondrous works. My soul melts away for sorrow. Strengthen me according to Your word! Put false ways from me and graciously teach me Your law! I have chosen the way of faithfulness. I set Your rules before me. I cling to Your testimonies, O Lord. Let me not be put to shame! I will run in the way of Your commandments when you enlarge my heart!   (Verses 25-32)

There was a girl in our dorm who was quirky, to say the least. Very skinny, stringy blond hair that hung in uneven curls about her face. Her walk was affected. Not a limp exactly, but she hobbled a little as if she were walking on her toes. Every day Penny did the same thing at exactly the same time. Brushed her teeth. Combed her hair. A little obsessive-compulsive. I was in my freshman year of college, unsure of my own self, wanting to make my mark in the world. My frail Baptist faith was being tested on every front and wasn't standing up too well. I had lots of questions about God...Jesus. I honestly thought I was the first person to ask, "What about the natives in Africa? Will they be saved if they've never heard?" All the seeker thoughts pounding in my head and heart. Unsure of who I was, Penny was anathema to me. Because? Because she loved me. Wanted to be around me. Wanted to walk across campus with me! To my utter shame, I admit I didn't want her beside me. Thought if people perceived her as my friend, they'd think less of me. So, I avoided her. I know. Dismally self-centered. And I was duly ashamed of how I felt.

The year progressed. I didn't much. But the fall semester of my sophomore year, a thing happened. I met Bill Farish, who was a new Christian involved with Campus Crusade for Christ. I also got serious about finding the answers to my spiritual questions. Spent hours in the university library finding extra-biblical references to Jesus. There are, by the way, many, many of them! In the process of going to Christian meetings with Bill and searching out my heart, I felt challenged to ask Jesus to take over my life. Unsteady at first. Didn't want religion again. I'd always loved God. Since I could remember. But He was obscured by all that denominational baggage of my childhood. If Jesus is real, there were a number of things I knew He needed from me. There was even more I needed from Him.

I found myself lying across my bed, alone in my dorm room, saying, "Jesus, if You do still live today, risen and empowering people to live, please come into me." I waited. Then added, "I will know You are real if I can love Penny." I knew my heart wasn't big enough for her. Had only been large enough for my own selfishness until then. I didn't have to wait long for the prayer request to be tested. But the atmosphere surrounding my heart had been charged. I knew it the moment I'd asked Him in. Understood I'd never be the same. The work of the Holy Spirit at the moment of our commitment to Jesus is to swoosh into us just as God rushed into the temple the day Solomon committed it to Him (2 Chronicles 7). I was indwelt. Tearful. Joyful. Content.

My mind had to contain what my spirit was experiencing. It was a dance that had to be coordinated, so as I walked across campus the next morning, I felt completely overtaken in thoughts of Jesus. Energized by the experience of the evening before. In wonder, really. And as I talked about it with the friend walking beside me, I wanted her to know Him, too. I loved this friend so much. Never noticed how blue her eyes were, or how animated her laugh. It was Penny, of course. My first answer to a heartfelt prayer. Loving Penny. Really loving her. Not just putting up with it. Embracing a friendship created by God. It wasn't until she walked one way to class and I walked the other that I was struck by the fact. Quick tears filled my eyes. Jesus does still change us.

In May of that year my grandmother died. I flew home on a Saturday and back to school on that Sunday because we were in the midst of final exams. Nothing was opened on Sundays in Texas back in the day, so I was surprised to see a huge bouquet of flowers in my room when I arrived late on Sunday night. They were from a local florist. Had a sympathy card attached, but no name was on it. I asked all my closest friends. Wanting to find who to thank. No one knew anything about the flowers. It wasn't until the next morning that I discovered the giver. Penny. She'd heard about my grandmother. Wanted me to know she loved me. Penny. The enlargement of my heart.


 

PSALM 119 - Need To See a Counselor?

Deal bountifully with Your servant that I might live and keep Your word. Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of Your law. I am a sojourner on the earth. Hide not Your commandments from me! My soul is consumed with longing for Your rules at all times. You rebuke the insolent accursed ones, who wander from Your commandments. Take away from me scorn and contempt, for I have kept Your testimonies. Even though princes sit plotting against me, Your servant will meditate on Your statutes. Your testimonies are my delight. They are my counselors.   (Verses 17-24)

And His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor.....  Isaiah 9

The counselor sitting before me had blond hair worn straight against her hollow cheeks. She wore an argyle sweater, a long skirt and sensible shoes. Her voice was quiet. Her questions on our first meeting were designed to get to know who I was. It felt inane to me. The lighting in her office in downtown Long Beach, California, was dim. It caused her to fade into the walls as her voice trailed off in deference to mine. I needed to talk. I'd determined not to cry. But there was so much roiling in my gut. So much hurt. Some I caused. Some was the unavoidable detritus of another's decision. And I blew up. Almost literally. A messy bursting of an inner abscess. I returned to her office only once after that. Not because I didn't think I needed more help, but because I understood the deeper need of my heart. To be healed. And for that, I needed my Counselor.

For months and months thereafter, I lay on the carpet of my living room floor and poured out a mixture of repentance and wrath. The death of  my mother amidst the revelation of my father's pedophilia and arrest had long been left insufficiently dealt with. Instead of working through it at the time, I just moved on. Had lots to accomplish. No time to examine my heart in the aftermath. And it was just too painful to look at. Until I did. And by then, I'd added my own mistakes to the cauldron.
Each day, when I'd vomited up the aching in my heart, I would pick up the Word. It was my "necessary food," as Job said. It was uncanny how the Psalms, Proverbs, Isaiah, Jeremiah and the Gospels met my specific prayer needs. I was in daily conversation with the Wonderful Counselor. I remember asking very pointed  questions in my prayer time that were answered exactly in my time with the Bible. God couldn't have answered more specifically had He been physically in the room with me. I began placing the date He spoke to me in the two Bibles I literally wore out in my need. On the page, next to the verse that became God's answer to me, I'd also take note of His response in my own words. For example, on March 17, 2001, so repentant and needy, I didn't understand how God could still love me. How I was ever going to get my heart straight. Isaiah 44:22: I have swept away your sins like a big cloud. I have removed your sins like a cloud that disappears into the air. Come back to Me because I saved you. I love my Counselor!

I was weary of trying to save my earthly father. Of trying to deal with his stuff. I worked hard at trying to understand what he needed in the aftermath of his sin. And in the fray, always were my mother's last words about having wasted her life on her husband. Feeling duped. It bothered me she was sure her life didn't count for anything. A specific thing I needed to address with the Counselor. His answer on April 23, 2003, came from Isaiah 49: Before I was born, the Lord called me to serve Him. The Lord named me when I was still in my mother's body...But I said, "I have worked hard for nothing. I have used all my power, but I did nothing useful." But the Lord will decide what my work is worth. God will decide my reward.

May 5, 2003, I was reading through Proverbs. Hungry. Thirsty. "My child, pay attention to My words. Listen closely to what I say. Don't ever forget My words. Keep them always in mind. They are the key to life for those who find them. They bring health to the whole body. Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life!  Don't use your mouth to tell lies. Don't ever say things that aren't true. Keep your eyes focused on what is right, and look straight ahead to what is good."  Proverbs 4, italics mine.

We don't belong here. The wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. His kingdom isn't run like this one. God's laws are higher, just as His thoughts are. But the wondrous thing is, we have an entire book telling us His ways. Teaching us how to live not only in this kingdom, but also in the next. The Word of God is living, powerful, able to pierce all the way into our bone marrow and change us (Hebrews 4). "Who has known the mind of the Lord? Who is able to teach Him?" But we have the mind of Christ (2 Corinthians 2). Available to us through the His Word by the power of His Holy Spirit. When we pick up the Bible, we are conversing with the God of All Who wants to talk to us from His heart. Who could possibly resist that?

PSALM 119 - Fish Gotta Swim...

How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to Your word. With my whole heart I seek You. Let me not wander from Your commandments! I have stored up Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You. Blessed are You, O Lord! Teach me Your statutes! With my lips I declare all the rules of Your mouth. In the way of Your testimonies I delight as much as in all riches. I will meditate on Your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways. I will delight in Your statutes. I will not forget your word.  (Verses 9-16)

Each man is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully grown, brings forth death.  James 1
Italics, mine

For Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, the directive was clear. You can have all you want from every tree in the garden...except one. The tree of the knowledge of good and evil. This from a God Who wanted to spare them being enticed by their own desires. The duo saw it daily...the forbidden tree. Never thought to eat from it until the day the lovely serpent hissed..."Come over here..." And they looked. And listened to the lisping lies that said God was not good. Wanted to hide something from them. Go on...taste it! You will not die.

The rest is history. From way, way back. Just one bite. Just one taste of what we've been told we can't have. It can't hurt to try it just this once. And some of us have stored up God's word and precepts in our hearts. Like Adam and Eve, have walked with Him for a while and still reach for a taste of the forbidden. Like there's something good that God is keeping from us in the evil He withholds.

I remember when I was first learning to drive. One of the first things my father told me was to keep my eyes on the road ahead. Don't look to the right or the left because if I did I might veer in the direction my eyes wandered toward. I held to that rigorously because I didn't want to die in a wreck! Having my eyes look in the correct direction saves my spiritual life, too. Taking them off was a train wreck! God expects us to be intentional about looking at Him. He is intentional about watching over us! We make the decision to keep our eyes on the prize. Determination to save us was the thing that took Jesus to the cross. He kept His eyes on the joy set before Him. Our salvation. It drove Him. Kept Him up nights. Gave Him victory over Satan.

Good question. "How do we keep our lives pure?" First, Guard it! Stand watch over what goes in and out! Say "No!" to anything that might corrupt it. Chase down the enemy who would tear down its walls. Soldier your life! Know the orders. The commandments that barricade us against principalities and powers. Know the Commander! Trust the wisdom of His words. Next, Give your whole heart to the pursuit. Not half-way living your spiritual life. Always wondering if there's not something better out there. I heard a young Christian woman say not long ago, "Yes, I'm a Christian, but I dabble in other stuff, too. You know, to cover all my options." There are no other options! Her life is compromised because of this. And it shows. The wandering eye of a child of God is just as lethal as the wandering eye of an adulterer. We will eventually be led away. Thirdly, Know what God says. Adam and Eve were fooled into believing a lie. "God didn't say you would die." Satan twisted what he knew was the truth. Went on to accuse God of wanting to keep something good from the man and his wife. If we haven't learned in our hearts the truth of God's Word, we'll be tricked.

We all need parameters. God made us that way. The wonderful thing about the ones that He establishes for us are that they are for our good and for His glory. He didn't just make up a bunch of stuff to test us to see if we'd follow. We did that later! Created religion. But that's not His idea. Just like fish are made to live in water, birds were created to fly and earthworms live to dig in the earth, we are created to have fellowship with God. That's where we thrive, not just survive! When knowing Him becomes the richest experience of our lives, we are happiest when we do what He wants. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome (1 John 5).  I don't want to stomp off from God every time I'm required to choose Him instead of what my own flesh wants, harrumphing and moaning about how hard it is to walk the narrow way. Grumbling about all I'm missing as a Christian in the carnival this world is. That is what religion stirs up in us. Relationship with the Father Who loves us beyond anything we can imagine...saw us as His future joy while His Son  hung bleeding on a cross...is supposed to make us realize we do what God wants out of sheer devotion and unwavering reciprocal love.

Oh, God, make my heart beat to say, "What is it you require of me today so I can show You that I love you more than anything!"

PSALM 119 - Follow the Leader!

Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the Lord! Blessed are those who keep His testimonies, who seek Him with their whole heart, who also do no wrong, but walk in His ways! You have commanded Your precepts to be kept diligently. Oh that my ways may be steadfast in keeping Your statues! Then I shall not be put to shame, having my eyes fixed on all Your commandments. I will praise You with an upright heart, when I learn Your righteous rules. I will keep Your statutes. Do not utterly forsake me! (Verses 1-8)

When I look at these words, I automatically recoil. I am not perfect. Even in the middle of the night last night I awoke wishing I hadn't done or said many of the things that took me two steps backward yesterday. Not the big stuff anymore, thank God. But I took my eyes off Him for a minute. Turned a page of my life and looked back, like Lot's wife. Heard my God say, "She who puts her hand to the plow and looks back isn't worthy of the kingdom of God." (Luke 9)  It was a reminder, not a condemnation. But still. What is back there? Leeks and onions of my slavery. That's all. And it's an insult to God that any of us should desire anything from which He has delivered us. But I'm pretty sure I'll never be one of those "who do no wrong." As much as my heart wants to trust and completely obey, I know me. I'm going to slip up. I need grace!

So what do I do with this psalm today? How does it instruct my heart? This I do know. I love my God. With all my heart. I love Him imperfectly, but I can't breathe without Him. And I know I want with all my heart to always keep God's laws. To consistently have my eyes on Him, focusing there, where my life's fulfilled.

Jesus was walking along a dusty road with His disciples when one of them said, "I will follow You wherever You go!" Surely the man was overwhelmed by the nearness of Jesus, the miracles, the wisdom of His parables, the compassion that healed the sick and raised the dead. What it must've been like to touch His hand and hear His laugh. To feel the frothy waters of a quieted storm at sea drip from the man's face as he marveled that Jesus stopped even crashing waves. Out of the abundance of the man's admiration he exclaimed his pure devotion.

"Really?" Jesus stopped. Looked him in the eye. "Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head." It wouldn't be easy. No closure. Open ended days and nights that might look like they are pointlessly inane. Punctuated by praise or blasphemy. I have no specific place to be here on Earth, in other words. It's not My home.

Onto the road comes another man. Jesus sees something in him. Says, "Come. Follow Me."
But the man replies only that he must wait until his father dies. Then he'll have the freedom to follow God. I'll do it someday. Get my life right. Too busy just now. "Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God!" The spiritually dead. They will lie in a heap. They have all decided to choose something instead of obedience to Me. Jesus knew a lame excuse when He heard it. The busyness of life trumping taking the road He chooses.

"I will follow You, Jesus!" Yet another awed by the Son of Man.

"Come, then!" Jesus waves the man over. Welcomes him into the group.

"Just one thing." The man looks back down the road from which he came. "I've gotta say good-bye to my family." Couldn't commit quite yet. Couldn't look Jesus in the eye. "I'll catch up later!"

Isn't it looking Jesus in the eye when we say we will follow Him that seals the deal? Focusing on the glance that waits to see if we really mean it? And He knew...back then...we didn't have it in us to be more than sandal-clad sojourners. Not without the Spirit. "Father, forgive them, they don't know what they are doing."

The risen Jesus spoke to Peter and John in John 21. Told Peter how he'd die for his faith in Christ. "What about John?"

"Peter, if I let John live until I come again, what's that to you?" Eyes locked on the face of one who betrayed Him in frailer days. "You follow Me."

Our directive today. To love Jesus with all of our hearts and follow Him. He's not going to keep us from going to funerals or from saying our good-byes. But Jesus does demand that we don't do those things instead of following after Him and His precepts! I think that's why the psalmist ends this stanza with, "Don't utterly forsake me!" We aren't that good at following, though with all our hearts we want to be perfect! I am thankful today for this promise: "I will never leave you or forsake you (Joshua 1:5; Hebrews 13:5)." Help me, Savior, to promise that to You in return!

 

PSALM 118 - No More Bull

Save us, we pray, O Lord! O Lord, we pray, give us success! Blessed is He Who comes in the name of the Lord! We bless You from the house of the Lord! The Lord is God, and He has made His light to shine upon us. Bind the festal sacrifice with cords, up to the horns of the altar! You are my God, and I will give thanks to You. You are my God, and I will extol You! Oh give thanks to the Lord for He is good; for His steadfast love endures forever!
(Verses 25-29)

"You shall make the altar of acacia wood...the altar shall be square...and you shall make horns for it on its four corners. Its horns shall be of one piece with it, and you shall overlay it with bronze." Isn't it interesting that God designed even the details of the tabernacle? That He told earthlings how to design something He'd conceived in heaven. And we had to do it just like He said. Because the sacrifices placed upon the altar, strapped by ropes to its four corners, died, bled out and were burned before God so that He could make peace with us. It is a sign of our giving our best...a perfect lamb. Thanking Him for all His mercies...rejoicing over His steadfast love and unmerited favor. A sacrifice of praise!

No more bulls and goats. No more ashes falling from the brazen altar. No more worrying and hoping that once a year our sins will be forgiven. One sacrifice for all. The Lamb nailed to the wooden altar of His death, risen to take our sins away forever. Cleansed. Made new. Anyone in Christ is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold! The new has come. All this is from God, who, through Christ, reconciled us to Himself (2 Corinthians 5). And the Light of the World(John 8) has come to shine upon us. To give us peace with God and favor as His dear children!

Father, Son and Spirit knew, as the earthly tabernacle was designed, that the Son would come. Be the Lamb. And the picture was painted for centuries as each year the drama of our salvation was enacted upon the brazen altar. Our sins were horrific and had to be atoned for. So as Jesus rode upon a young donkey through the streets of Jerusalem in the week of His death, the people cried out, "Blessed is He Who comes in the name of the Lord!" Little knowing Jesus was the festal sacrifice! The Light come to shine upon us! Our God!

We are saved. He has become our salvation. Who has ever loved us like this? Made us the children in whom He delights! The apple of His eye. Adored and watched over. Redeemed and chosen. Our praise should be no sacrifice, but the offering of hearts chained to Him forever in grateful adoration for the festal offering He became!


 

PSALM 118 - This Is The Day!!!

Open to me the gates of righteousness, that I may enter through them and give thanks to the Lord. This is the gate of the Lord. The righteous shall enter through it. I thank You that You have answered me and have become my salvation. The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone. This is the Lord's doing. It is marvelous in our eyes. This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!  (Verses 19-24)

The Lord looks down from heaven on the children of man, to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God. They have all turned aside. Together they have become corrupt. There is none who does good. Not even one. Psalm 14  (italics, mine)

The young man saw Jesus surrounded by the children He'd blessed. The disciples were irritated with the mothers and fathers who'd set their children on His lap and ringed Jesus in with the noisy excitement of being near Him. "Move away! Give Jesus room here!" they yelled.

"Leave them alone," Jesus rebuked. "Don't keep children from coming to me. It's their childlike faith that will bring everyone to Me. Heaven belongs to anyone who will come to me with the wonder and trust of one of these little ones."

Into the midst of laughing children came a rich young man. Maybe he heard Jesus saying to enter the kingdom you much be like a little child. It seems logical as his question to Jesus was, "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?"

"Only God is good," Jesus replied. He knew the young man was going to go for goodness. How perfectly he'd kept the law. But none is good...not even one. "You know the commandments: Don't commit adultery, don't murder, don't steal, don't bear false witness. Honor your father and your mother."

"I've done all those things. All my life," replied the young man. "What do I still lack?"

"If you would be perfect, go, sell all that you have and give it to the poor, and come, follow Me." Because only if we are perfect can the law save us.

He couldn't do it. The young man was very rich. Treasures in heaven were abstract. Treasures here kept the man from finding true redemption by following Jesus. It wasn't the selling of his stuff that Jesus was after. It was his heart. One that will follow after God, giving up all for the pearl of great price. The young man dropped his head and turned away. And Jesus was sad. He loved the man.
"It's easier for a camel to be pushed through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven," He said to his disciples.

They were astonished, though, because this man was a great person. He'd kept the law. Done everything right since he was a kid! They hadn't done that well! And it looked like God had blessed the man with great wealth because he was such a righteous person. What gives? "If this man can't be saved, who can?" asked the disciples.

"With man this is impossible. But with God, all things are possible." We can't save ourselves. We can't be righteous enough to enter the gates of heaven. Only the goodness of God transferred to our puny selves can make the temples we become worthy of His glorious indwelling. So really, it's way easier than we think. Children can do it. Babies, even. For it is the heart that follows freely after Jesus that is changed. Loving Him more than life. Dancing in His presence. Joying in His Word. Not wanting to be anyplace where Jesus chooses not to be. When He has become my salvation, not my own paltry deeds, birthed in questionable motives, I recognize I can't save myself and quit trying. I'd rather robe myself in God's salvation than trust He'll find me good enough to get into heaven without following Him. If the rich young ruler fell short, I am doomed. I'm nowhere near perfection.

This impossible thing, though, has been accomplished. For our sake He made Him to be sin Who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5). Rejected by the very men who loved the law, as the rich young man did, Jesus became the sacrifice for sin, once and for all. Even the rulers who thought themselves more righteous than He. Thrown away, stripped and bloodied, in His death Jesus took on our sin. The perfect sacrifice. Who would've thought such a thing on the day He told His disciples that only God can save us? How could they have guessed it would mean the earth convulsing and the Teacher dying? As you come to Him, a living stone rejected by men, but in the sight of God precious and chosen, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ (1 Peter 2).

I come each day before my God as a righteous child, allowed into the gates of His courts. Privileged to sit on His knee and dance happily with other children of my Father. Impossible for me to have edged my way into this family with my own credentials. Impossible to imagine such favor...such love and goodness! Were I to have to earn it, I'd be miserable. But He has become my salvation. Done the impossible!!! I am His and He is mine!! This is the day that the Lord has made! Let us rejoice and be glad in it!




 

PSALM 118 - What Doesn't Kill Us....

I shall not die, but I shall live, and recount the deeds of the Lord. The Lord has disciplined me severely, but he has not given me over to death.  (Verses 17-18)


In the crucible is the true test of our faith. Not so much in the daily routine of life when we get up or lie down, having worked a normal day doing all the mundane Monday through Friday things that make up our lives, create our busyness and earn us the home in which we sleep, the kitchen in which we eat. But when suddenly a thing happens, blindsides us, it is then that what we deeply believe tests our metal. Sees if it's pure gold. Burns out of us the dross created in our everyday lives. When we learn that what doesn't kill us makes us better. When we see that if we'd never had a problem, we'd never know that God can solve it.


The tornado ripped through Wichita Falls, Texas, in April of 1979, just days after Bill and I moved there with our young daughters. One fifth of the city was ravaged, looking like a war zone. Only foundations lay bare glaring at a new day from amidst the debris that once was daily life. No walls, no cars, no semblance of normal. Home after home had to be rebuilt. On the foundation left when all else blew away. One wall at a time. New timber. New roof. New flooring. And finally, through the process, a brand new home on a foundation that hadn't budged despite the storm.


What happens when disease, financial reversals, divorce, abandonment or the death of someone we love blows into our lives like a tornado and strips us of everything but our Foundation? We are left with pretty much only our faith in God...like Job. Needing, possibly, to have our old perceptions thrown out, our walls torn down, or our old religious tenets reformed. What happens when we are spiritually blown away and our foundation revealed? Could it be that our God wants to rebuild us, not kill us? Discipline doesn't always mean punishment. It also means to train, teach, coach or drill. God is sometimes the contractor who has to get the shambles into shape. To take the shabby faith created in the mundane and muscle it up for the trenches. Not so we will die, though we feel like we will. But so we can live, really live, and proclaim how amazing the Builder is. So we can show off how beautiful our new home is, even though it had to be torn down to its very basest level before it could be rebuilt. New walls had to be erected, stronger than the last, bricked up against the enemy. Fortified. Months and months are required to rebuild. It's not an easy process. But when the new is come, the old but a memory, we are a brand new place.


For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness by those who have been trained by it. Therefore, lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed (Hebrews 12).


I don't know where in the process you are today. If the walls are coming down or new ones going up. But here's the good news, if you know Jesus, you don't build alone! It is for your beauty and His great glory that He picks up the paint brush and colors your interior walls. Though the nails that are pounded into the structure you are becoming often hurt, they are necessary to hold your new home together. As the architect of your faith, Jesus has something in mind. Life! Yours! So that you will live, and not die, and ultimately stand on your rooftop declaring the goodness of your God!

PSALM 118 - IS YOUR HEAD IN A BEEHIVE?

The Lord is on my side as my helper. I shall look in triumph on those who hate me. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes. All nations surrounded me. In the name of the Lord, I cut them off! They surrounded me, surrounded me on every side. In the name of the Lord I cut them off! They surrounded me like bees. They went out like a fire among thorns. In the name of the Lord I cut them off! I was pushed hard, so that I was falling, but the Lord helped me.  (Verses 7-13)


It was a very hot summer day in Wichita Falls, Texas, when I grabbed the lawn mower from the garage and began my weekly routine of mowing our yard. I don't recommend yard work when it's 111 degrees outside, but I was obsessed with having beautiful green grass for the kids to play on. After having edged and manicured the front lawn, I pushed the whirring lawnmower to the back, closed the gate behind me and made the long swath against the left side of the fence that separated me from my neighbor. I didn't expect what happened next. Bumblebees! So many I couldn't count. Apparently I'd hit their underground nest and they were mad--at me and the red mower. They mounted a very targeted attack, buzzing furiously around my head and shoulders and besieging the mower as if it were Godzilla come to destroy their metropolis. I ran. They buzzed after me. I swatted and they hissed. I barely made it inside where I retrieved some wasp repellent and ventured carefully back to the mower which was by then literally covered with the insects. I hated to kill them. I think  they are beautiful. But at that point it was them or me. Enough of them lay dead by the lawnmower that I could finally turn the thing off and go inside until the war subsided before I finished my yard work later in the day. So I understand this thing the psalmist wrote about the buzzing of bees.


It's important to God where we go for refuge. If in these crazy political days we look to a president, congressman or senator to fix our lives, we will surely be disappointed. If we look to a mother, father, husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend to make us whole, again, we'll be let down. People fall short. All of us. So how do we actually take refuge in the Lord? What does that look like practically when we've been pushed so hard by life that we are about to fall down? Early this morning, the Lord awakened me. At 3:45 A.M. I knew He was calling me downstairs to be alone with Him. I'm feeling a bit pressed myself lately. Over the first few weeks of 2014, pushed hard enough that I was falling on my face daily. But my prayer this morning had to do with all the things in my life over which I have absolutely no control. I have done all I can do. Swatted the bees, set the thorns on fire and cut the enemy off at the pass by resisting his diversions and not agreeing with his accusations that God doesn't hear or care. Left on my face today to take refuge in my God. Resting in Him in the wee hours of the morning on a very, very busy day. Acknowledging that some of the things for which I pray may not be what He wants. Coming to grips with the fact that if He doesn't want them, I don't either.


Combat with the enemy of our souls can make us feel isolated. Like we fight alone and are losing strength. As if we are the last soldier standing, with our comrades lying dead all around us. Of course, that's the lie we are made to believe when the enemy and his minions yell at us to surrender. I don't ever want to forget that I have the authority Christ gave me to set the devil running. Because Christ disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame by triumphing over them at the cross (Colossians 2). We are never standing against the evil one or our difficult earthly circumstances alone. Jesus is the Helper by the powerful Holy Spirit Who indwells us (John 16). So we can cut off at the pass the enemies who push hard against our faith, vanquish them by our enduring faith in a steadfast God. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so at the proper time He might exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. Be sober minded. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him. Firm in your faith (I Peter 5). In all these things, we are more than conquerors, through Him Who loves us (Romans 8). It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in anything else. The omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient God of all has us in the palm of His hand.

PSALM 118 - CHAIN, CHAIN, CHAIN

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever. Let Israel say, "His love endures forever." Let the house of Aaron say, "His love endures forever." Let those who fear the Lord say, "His love endures forever." In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and He answered by setting me free. The Lord is with me. I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
(Verses 1-6)  Italics, mine.

It is for freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.  Galatians 5:1

The news out of New York City on February 2, 2014, was chilling. The actor,Philip Seymour Hoffman, was found dead on the floor of his Greenwich Village apartment. A syringe still stuck in his arm. Nearby, an envelope containing heroin. Twenty years ago, Hoffman quit drugs and alcohol. Realized he was an addict. But something lured him back into the slavery he'd avoided for all those years. Trapped again by the enemy. Cornered by his appetites. Ultimately destroyed by the bondage he at once hated and loved. Heroin may not be our preferred addiction, but any of us who can't break free are just as trapped. And the consequences, just as deadly.

I want to put Jesus into this situation for a moment. Transfer Him into 2014 downtown NYC. In the flesh, because, of course, He is already there, all over, all knowing, all powerful. But we've clearly been allowed some choices. Jesus isn't robed in Middle Eastern B.C. togas and sandals. His boots crunch the snow as He ambles down Broadway wearing a parka and knitted ski hat. His breath creates a stream of foggy air as Jesus speaks to the vendor at the corner of Broadway and 41st Street. "How are you, man?" he asks.

"Hey, man, I'm fine." The vendor a little taken aback by the casual question. "It's cool of you to ask."

Jesus walks on down the street. There is an aching in his heart as He walks past the druggies and the homeless. Bumping shoulders with the depressed and anxious grieves Him in a way we can't conceive. Because He is the answer to their brokenness. Jesus sees chains where we see irresponsibility. Fetters where we judge weakness. And He knows how to free us. But we have to let Him.

"What do you want?" asks Jesus of the homeless woman asking Him for money. "Really?" Not a question of the moment, but of a lifetime.

Hopeless now, the addiction of her soul has overtaken her will to live without the drugs..."Just a few bucks, sir."

"I can free you from this addiction." His eyes now filling with tears. "I hate to see you this way."

"What's it to you?" Wanting Him to give her money and then go away.

"This is what I came for." Jesus takes her hand, pushing up the sleeve of her tawdry, ragged red coat. "To free you from this." And He points to the needle marks. The infected veins that streak her arm. She jerks her arm free and cradles it to her chest. A tiny ray of hope makes her flinch for a moment. "How?"

In the shivering cold of the February day, Jesus tells her how He'd seen her life. Knew her pain. Loved her enough to meet her this day, this hour, this moment. Eternity kissing time. Just for her. Would she believe in Him? The God Who created her wanting more for her than she wanted for herself?

"I don't know."  Trust was a lost virtue in her. She'd been burned so many times before. But Jesus knew her in a way she'd  never dreamed possible. What if she could really be free? And the woman remembered how, on this same street corner the previous Friday, she'd challenged God. "You don't care about someone like me!" And she'd actually stuck her fist into the air--cursing Him. And here He was...face to face. She melted then. Never been so loved. That He would come to Earth to meet her in the slushy snow of a New York City street. The woman sobbed into His coat as Jesus led her to a shelter, gave her food and hot coffee. She will never be the same. It was for her freedom that He set her free. Free now to choose life. Not just death. Free now to leave the chains of her addiction, which dictated her every move and ruined all of her relationships, free to be free. To take steps, one by one, in another direction.

Deeper into Manhattan. Into Greenwich Village. A man lay dead attached still to the syringe of his addiction. The door shut to the mother of his children. To his best friend. To all but those who supplied the deadly ropes that tied him to his bondage. Jesus knew this man. Loved this man. Grieved over the choices that left him dead...alone. I don't know the arc of Hoffman's life. How he wound up so grievously enslaved. But I do know that it's never what God would choose for us. I know that Jesus still meets us in our need. Always. Four people have been arrested for selling the actor illegal drugs. Man indeed can do things to us when we rely on them to meet the deepest desires of our soul. Man can't do that. Man can only medicate.

Jesus walks our streets and avenues still talking to us. Still asking us what we really want. If we can reply that what we needed all along was Him, He promises to set us free! So that we'll be free, truly. Free to choose not to, as well as to choose to. When my heart is fully satisfied in Jesus, I no longer need the façade of comfort afforded me by my addictions. The Lord is with me. Just like He was with the woman on the street. The God of everything holds me in His caress and I'm no longer afraid of being chained again.