But their words were false and their tongues lied to Him. Their hearts were not really loyal to God. They did not keep His agreement. Still God was merciful. He forgave their sins and did not destroy them. Many times He held back His anger and did not stir up all His anger. He remembered they were dust, like a wind that blows and does not come back.
They turned against God so often in the desert and grieved Him there. Again and again they tested God and brought pain to the Holy One of Israel. (Verses 36-41)
I awoke at three this morning to a song of praise playing in my head. Louder and louder it became a melody of my heart. It actually pulsed in me so that I felt I was dancing before the Lord, twirling, jumping and leaping around, filled with the energy of my love for my Father as I performed to the ode to joy. I have tears in my eyes even now just thinking about it. I sensed my Father's pleasure with my brimming heart and my dancing feet. I wanted to keep it up until I couldn't move anymore. It was a scene playing out in my heart, but I believe my spirit was truly there because God's pleasure lingers even now. It made Him happy. It made me want to know Him more deeply. In fact, my prayer was: "I want to know You in a deeper way. I want to know what makes You laugh."
Then the words of the psalmist this morning. Reminding me that God feels. I know this may seem weird to some, but when I asked that question, I felt very sure the voice of Jesus said: "The same things that make you laugh." Made in His image, indwelt by His Holy Presence, that makes sense. Then I thought of all the things that make me laugh out loud. My children at the dinner table...okay, sometimes they fight there...but mostly it's hilarious. Or when we all play games together. The antics of my grandchildren. A really funny joke. Irony. Self-deprecating stories that are funny in hindsight. The things that make me laugh are usually relational in nature. I know the person so well that there are inside jokes or memories that we only have to say a first few words about before each of us is cracking up. Like the time when the kids were little and I was trying to get them all ready for church. I told Bill: "Let's hurry up so we don't have to rush." I knew what I meant. But it was a ridiculous thing to say and it still cracks us up. Our family has a million of these (most of which are about me) that still bring us to uproarious laughter.
There are painful things, too. We don't bring them up at all, if possible. Better left under the bridge of forgiveness. And, at all costs, we try not to hurt each other again. We still stumble on it -- pain -- but it's not intentional. In the prayer of Jabez, he asked God to keep him from the evil one so that he won't cause pain. I completely understand that prayer and pray it often. I don't want to bring pain to those I love, especially my Father. I think there is the idea out there that God is a meany Who just can't wait to take a stick to our hides as soon as we mess up. I am so sorry for those who don't know my Father better than that. We are made like Him...He's not made like us. God feels like we feel because He took us from the dust to form us into beings with whom He could relate. Though God remembers we are dust, He didn't make us to act like it. We were created to be His dear children. And, He, our dearest Father. Beloved and enjoyed. To laugh with, cry with, walk with, eat with, joy with.
I cannot imagine how I would feel if one of my kids shook his or her fist in my face and accused me of the dismal stuff we attribute to God. I love my children. Would give my life for them. Just like He did. Gave His life. For us. How could we forget that in our day to day, like the children of Israel whose hearts weren't loyal to the One Who'd worked miracle after miracle on their behalf? I have grieved my God. I know it. Just like He feels what I feel, I felt His mourning over my sin. I knew I'd grieved the Holy Spirit in me (Ephesians 4). Like the perfect Father He is, He forgave me. Disciplined me, too. But He still wraps His arms around me because I am His. Oh, the joy of that embrace. Oh, the freedom of forgiveness. It makes me love my heavenly Abba, sing praises to His matchless name and dance and dance and dance!
They turned against God so often in the desert and grieved Him there. Again and again they tested God and brought pain to the Holy One of Israel. (Verses 36-41)
I awoke at three this morning to a song of praise playing in my head. Louder and louder it became a melody of my heart. It actually pulsed in me so that I felt I was dancing before the Lord, twirling, jumping and leaping around, filled with the energy of my love for my Father as I performed to the ode to joy. I have tears in my eyes even now just thinking about it. I sensed my Father's pleasure with my brimming heart and my dancing feet. I wanted to keep it up until I couldn't move anymore. It was a scene playing out in my heart, but I believe my spirit was truly there because God's pleasure lingers even now. It made Him happy. It made me want to know Him more deeply. In fact, my prayer was: "I want to know You in a deeper way. I want to know what makes You laugh."
Then the words of the psalmist this morning. Reminding me that God feels. I know this may seem weird to some, but when I asked that question, I felt very sure the voice of Jesus said: "The same things that make you laugh." Made in His image, indwelt by His Holy Presence, that makes sense. Then I thought of all the things that make me laugh out loud. My children at the dinner table...okay, sometimes they fight there...but mostly it's hilarious. Or when we all play games together. The antics of my grandchildren. A really funny joke. Irony. Self-deprecating stories that are funny in hindsight. The things that make me laugh are usually relational in nature. I know the person so well that there are inside jokes or memories that we only have to say a first few words about before each of us is cracking up. Like the time when the kids were little and I was trying to get them all ready for church. I told Bill: "Let's hurry up so we don't have to rush." I knew what I meant. But it was a ridiculous thing to say and it still cracks us up. Our family has a million of these (most of which are about me) that still bring us to uproarious laughter.
There are painful things, too. We don't bring them up at all, if possible. Better left under the bridge of forgiveness. And, at all costs, we try not to hurt each other again. We still stumble on it -- pain -- but it's not intentional. In the prayer of Jabez, he asked God to keep him from the evil one so that he won't cause pain. I completely understand that prayer and pray it often. I don't want to bring pain to those I love, especially my Father. I think there is the idea out there that God is a meany Who just can't wait to take a stick to our hides as soon as we mess up. I am so sorry for those who don't know my Father better than that. We are made like Him...He's not made like us. God feels like we feel because He took us from the dust to form us into beings with whom He could relate. Though God remembers we are dust, He didn't make us to act like it. We were created to be His dear children. And, He, our dearest Father. Beloved and enjoyed. To laugh with, cry with, walk with, eat with, joy with.
I cannot imagine how I would feel if one of my kids shook his or her fist in my face and accused me of the dismal stuff we attribute to God. I love my children. Would give my life for them. Just like He did. Gave His life. For us. How could we forget that in our day to day, like the children of Israel whose hearts weren't loyal to the One Who'd worked miracle after miracle on their behalf? I have grieved my God. I know it. Just like He feels what I feel, I felt His mourning over my sin. I knew I'd grieved the Holy Spirit in me (Ephesians 4). Like the perfect Father He is, He forgave me. Disciplined me, too. But He still wraps His arms around me because I am His. Oh, the joy of that embrace. Oh, the freedom of forgiveness. It makes me love my heavenly Abba, sing praises to His matchless name and dance and dance and dance!
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