By this I know that You are pleased with me: My enemy does not shout in triumph over me.
As for me, You uphold me in my integrity, and You set me in Your presence forever.
Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Amen. (vs. 12-13)
It matters who wins the battle more than who fights it. Or even who starts it. The thing is, if you are in a battle, you must get out of it some way. Triumph is at least a matter of saving face and at best a matter of preserving your life. So, how do I know God is on my side? I win. I might be quite bloodied up....have been...but I come out in tact. I am speaking of spiritual warfare this morning. Felt pretty knocked around yesterday by the enemy of my soul. Things in my spirit that lie there dormant for a while were touched in a way that made me have to do some battle over my hope and the hopes of others last night. Yearnings of my heart that I present to the Lord in an ongoing basis that seem to languish in their waiting for Him to answer. New passions for His immediate attention - needing an answer before it seems too late. Warring against doubt, fear, and depression. Real enemies.
I don't know what the neighbors thought of me last evening for they heard me crying out to Abba in a way that is new to me. When He says to seek Him with all your heart, all your strength, all your soul, and all mind, He means all. I just let it all out before Him. It took a while. I felt emptied and tired when I went to bed...and again this morning. Like I had waged war. But here is what I know on this new day. I was heard. Listened to. Some of what I said was not even in words. I don't know how to pray for some of what concerns my soul. With my spirit. Yes. But beyond that, with the giving of it to God as a whole package. This heartfelt weight on my soul. Crying out....literally...gutterally. Able only to articulate "Abba!" at times.
I know today, though, the enemy does not shout in triumph over me. In the presence of my Father last night there was palpable glory. I did not want to leave my place of prayer because He was there. In it.
And today, I am still there. Before Him. I know I do not look like it because here I sit at my desk typing this into my computer like I do most mornings after my cup of coffee. I am wearing slippers, not a coat of armor. I will do the ordinary things of my day...if any day is ordinary around here. But I will do all of this in His presence, conscious that He is my defender and shield. Knowing that His eyes are on me to keep me from the evil one. A tenderness that brings tears to my eyes even now makes my heart a little achey today because God has touched a place in me that He could only reach when I cried out with everything in me.
It remains to be seen what God will do with all I laid before Him last night. I don't know. But when God, our Father, hears our prayers, we have the assurance that He Who allows us into His presence will act on our behalf if He has to move heaven and earth to do it.
As for me, You uphold me in my integrity, and You set me in Your presence forever.
Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Amen. (vs. 12-13)
It matters who wins the battle more than who fights it. Or even who starts it. The thing is, if you are in a battle, you must get out of it some way. Triumph is at least a matter of saving face and at best a matter of preserving your life. So, how do I know God is on my side? I win. I might be quite bloodied up....have been...but I come out in tact. I am speaking of spiritual warfare this morning. Felt pretty knocked around yesterday by the enemy of my soul. Things in my spirit that lie there dormant for a while were touched in a way that made me have to do some battle over my hope and the hopes of others last night. Yearnings of my heart that I present to the Lord in an ongoing basis that seem to languish in their waiting for Him to answer. New passions for His immediate attention - needing an answer before it seems too late. Warring against doubt, fear, and depression. Real enemies.
I don't know what the neighbors thought of me last evening for they heard me crying out to Abba in a way that is new to me. When He says to seek Him with all your heart, all your strength, all your soul, and all mind, He means all. I just let it all out before Him. It took a while. I felt emptied and tired when I went to bed...and again this morning. Like I had waged war. But here is what I know on this new day. I was heard. Listened to. Some of what I said was not even in words. I don't know how to pray for some of what concerns my soul. With my spirit. Yes. But beyond that, with the giving of it to God as a whole package. This heartfelt weight on my soul. Crying out....literally...gutterally. Able only to articulate "Abba!" at times.
I know today, though, the enemy does not shout in triumph over me. In the presence of my Father last night there was palpable glory. I did not want to leave my place of prayer because He was there. In it.
And today, I am still there. Before Him. I know I do not look like it because here I sit at my desk typing this into my computer like I do most mornings after my cup of coffee. I am wearing slippers, not a coat of armor. I will do the ordinary things of my day...if any day is ordinary around here. But I will do all of this in His presence, conscious that He is my defender and shield. Knowing that His eyes are on me to keep me from the evil one. A tenderness that brings tears to my eyes even now makes my heart a little achey today because God has touched a place in me that He could only reach when I cried out with everything in me.
It remains to be seen what God will do with all I laid before Him last night. I don't know. But when God, our Father, hears our prayers, we have the assurance that He Who allows us into His presence will act on our behalf if He has to move heaven and earth to do it.
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