God, You are my strength. Why have You rejected me? Why am I sad and troubled by my enemies? Send me Your light and truth to guide me. Let them lead me to the holy mountain where You live. (vs. 3)
"I am the way, the truth and the life. The only way to the Father is through Me." Jesus, John 14
Living some of this today with a precious young woman I love. Either rejection and abandonment, or the threat of it, has left her with not only a broken heart, but also with the nauseating knowledge that everyone is not always as they seem on the surface. Sad and troubled by the treachery of duplicitous relationships, this young woman is on a quest for the authentic. Betrayal or apathy experienced at the hands of those who are supposed to be your most constant advocates is enough to leave one at least sad and troubled. If not devastated.
She has a choice to make now. The threat is to strip her of her education and her transportation - in reality, her place in the family. And the situation - ridiculous. She is not flopping in a drug house. Or riding her Harley with her tattooed honey who wants her to come live in his apartment with him and his fourteen roomies. Her crime against family is not that she has lived her life in rebellion to their every command. In fact, the rules she has stubbornly obeyed for her twenty years on earth would make lesser women bail. No. She arranged a place for herself to stay for three weeks while she worked on campus. The home is with trusted friends her father has known for over twenty years. She called him on Thursday before she moved there to talk with him about where she was going to be short term, but he didn't call her back. Was not his priority. In the midst of finishing one on-campus job and beginning another, taking finals and finishing papers, and packing her stuff to move out, she didn't call him again until she had arrived safely at the home of friends. That failure to have connected with him was enough for him to decide she is a liar and a manipulator. Trying to make her own plans without the hosts or her communicating with him. I get that. She must move or be abandoned, though. Stripped. So she hasn't slept much. Neither have I. It is our home she has to leave.
Her quest now? The will of God. The choice might seem easy from the bones of this story. But the threat of abandonment and the lack of desire to truly understand what might be best for her has gripped her with sadness and confusion. No reason for outright rejection. No good reason to strip her. Except that fathers make decisions and children obey them. Not negotiable. Even at twenty. Her perceived rebellion is really more about being understood. She wasn't asked why. Didn't matter. End of story.
Yesterday she was in the chapel at her school praying for light and truth. Fiery trials bring us to our true selves. Cut out the bull crap. Let us take a deeper look at our own selves as well as revealing the depths of others. I am so proud of her responses because she is earnestly wanting God to lead her through this mess. Wanting her heavenly Father, Who will never reject her and longs earnestly to understand her heart, to meet her in His throne room and tell her what to do. She can go there because Jesus is truth. He is her way in. He is light in the darkness of this situation. He not only knows the way into the throne room but the way through this confusion. And, He loves everyone involved in this scenario.
What I am learning through the miasma of this mess is what I don't want to be. Duplicitous. I have been. I wasn't aware of how disgusting it must look to Christ if I am so troubled by it. I don't want to become the enemy to the people I love most. To harbor bitternesses toward them because I can only see their actions and reactions through the lens of my own experiences, biases and opinions or my need for control for control's sake. To win battles but lose the war. That just because I would have done a thing one way, it doesn't mean that is the only way to handle a situation. To listen before I accuse. To care about the hearts of my children. To let them be what my husband and I have worked so hard and prayed so long for them to become in Christ. Because ultimately, what we want for our children is for them to be able to look to Him for themselves. For Him to be the One Who is their way, truth and life. For us then to step back, as He increases and we decrease, and enjoy the reward of their lives in Him.
"I am the way, the truth and the life. The only way to the Father is through Me." Jesus, John 14
Living some of this today with a precious young woman I love. Either rejection and abandonment, or the threat of it, has left her with not only a broken heart, but also with the nauseating knowledge that everyone is not always as they seem on the surface. Sad and troubled by the treachery of duplicitous relationships, this young woman is on a quest for the authentic. Betrayal or apathy experienced at the hands of those who are supposed to be your most constant advocates is enough to leave one at least sad and troubled. If not devastated.
She has a choice to make now. The threat is to strip her of her education and her transportation - in reality, her place in the family. And the situation - ridiculous. She is not flopping in a drug house. Or riding her Harley with her tattooed honey who wants her to come live in his apartment with him and his fourteen roomies. Her crime against family is not that she has lived her life in rebellion to their every command. In fact, the rules she has stubbornly obeyed for her twenty years on earth would make lesser women bail. No. She arranged a place for herself to stay for three weeks while she worked on campus. The home is with trusted friends her father has known for over twenty years. She called him on Thursday before she moved there to talk with him about where she was going to be short term, but he didn't call her back. Was not his priority. In the midst of finishing one on-campus job and beginning another, taking finals and finishing papers, and packing her stuff to move out, she didn't call him again until she had arrived safely at the home of friends. That failure to have connected with him was enough for him to decide she is a liar and a manipulator. Trying to make her own plans without the hosts or her communicating with him. I get that. She must move or be abandoned, though. Stripped. So she hasn't slept much. Neither have I. It is our home she has to leave.
Her quest now? The will of God. The choice might seem easy from the bones of this story. But the threat of abandonment and the lack of desire to truly understand what might be best for her has gripped her with sadness and confusion. No reason for outright rejection. No good reason to strip her. Except that fathers make decisions and children obey them. Not negotiable. Even at twenty. Her perceived rebellion is really more about being understood. She wasn't asked why. Didn't matter. End of story.
Yesterday she was in the chapel at her school praying for light and truth. Fiery trials bring us to our true selves. Cut out the bull crap. Let us take a deeper look at our own selves as well as revealing the depths of others. I am so proud of her responses because she is earnestly wanting God to lead her through this mess. Wanting her heavenly Father, Who will never reject her and longs earnestly to understand her heart, to meet her in His throne room and tell her what to do. She can go there because Jesus is truth. He is her way in. He is light in the darkness of this situation. He not only knows the way into the throne room but the way through this confusion. And, He loves everyone involved in this scenario.
What I am learning through the miasma of this mess is what I don't want to be. Duplicitous. I have been. I wasn't aware of how disgusting it must look to Christ if I am so troubled by it. I don't want to become the enemy to the people I love most. To harbor bitternesses toward them because I can only see their actions and reactions through the lens of my own experiences, biases and opinions or my need for control for control's sake. To win battles but lose the war. That just because I would have done a thing one way, it doesn't mean that is the only way to handle a situation. To listen before I accuse. To care about the hearts of my children. To let them be what my husband and I have worked so hard and prayed so long for them to become in Christ. Because ultimately, what we want for our children is for them to be able to look to Him for themselves. For Him to be the One Who is their way, truth and life. For us then to step back, as He increases and we decrease, and enjoy the reward of their lives in Him.
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