O God, You are my God. Earnestly I seek You. My soul thirsts for You. My flesh faints for You as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. (Vs. 1)
Does life sometimes just wear you out? Sleepless nights when you try to work out in your mind what plays out in the daytime? Sapped of joy. Heart dried up. Soul weary. That's when we need a huge drink of living water to plump up a thirsty soul.
Should we be surprised when God leads us to the desert? Jesus was familiar with its burning sand and seemingly interminable stretches without oasis. In His own desert experience, He was forty days without food or water. But when He emerged, faced the enemy, and conquered his temptations, our Savior was ready to change the course of history. Perhaps the desert has purpose after all.
I used to think I loved the Lord. And I have always been confident of His love for me. But, if I am completely honest, this little Baptist girl thought Jesus loved me because I was such a good Christian. Though I had a heart for people who had blown it, I think lurking deeply beneath the surface was a heart which thought itself to be above the sinners around me. I didn't even know this until I became the sinner instead. Thrust headlong by the pain of discovering my father's pedophilia and the crush of my mother's subsequent death, I ran with all my might to the desert. Not smart. While the running seemed to ease the excruciation, it led me to a fountain that dried up almost immediately. Left thirsty and barren, I lay there in the sand for too long while my heart shriveled and my skin burned.
Finally, I became dehydrated enough and frustrated beyond my capacity to bear trying to make water come from a well gone dry.
"Jesus?" A question at first. I mean, how could He even hear me so far out in the wilderness.
Aching need. Missing my God. But He seemed so far off. Back in the past yet the scent of Him in my present. "How could He still love me?"
"Jesus." No longer a question but now a longing, yearning for a talk with Him.
I had left my Bible in the sand miles back. I crawled on hands and knees and found it there. Food. Water. Just a little at first. Almost sounded unfamiliar. Yet it whet my sullied appetite and gave me a little strength.
"Jesus!" Now a cry. Thirsty for Him. Craving a talk.
I heard His footsteps brush across the desert floor and felt Him as He neared me. I couldn't look up at Jesus at first. So ashamed was I at having been so unfaithful and afraid. Jesus put His hand upon my head and stroked my hair. That is all that first time. But it was enough to let me know He would lead me back.
What did I learn in the wilderness? I learned to love my Christ because He loved me first. To understand the life bereft of relationship with Him is desiccating and deadly. That He is my breath as well as my food and water. Nothing I can do earns this kind of devotion, for He came into my desert to rescue me from myself. I now love Him on a level I had no experience of before the wilderness. Know why the woman broke the costly jar of perfume and spread it over His feet, wiping the excess with her hair. The one who is forgiven much, loves much. And, I learned to spot a sister lying in the sand. I know she is there because of pain and don't judge her for finding herself prostrate before an empty cistern. I know that if she calls to Him for water, He will come and stroke her hair and lead her to a well that never will run dry.
For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their Shepherd, and He will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Revelation 7
Does life sometimes just wear you out? Sleepless nights when you try to work out in your mind what plays out in the daytime? Sapped of joy. Heart dried up. Soul weary. That's when we need a huge drink of living water to plump up a thirsty soul.
Should we be surprised when God leads us to the desert? Jesus was familiar with its burning sand and seemingly interminable stretches without oasis. In His own desert experience, He was forty days without food or water. But when He emerged, faced the enemy, and conquered his temptations, our Savior was ready to change the course of history. Perhaps the desert has purpose after all.
I used to think I loved the Lord. And I have always been confident of His love for me. But, if I am completely honest, this little Baptist girl thought Jesus loved me because I was such a good Christian. Though I had a heart for people who had blown it, I think lurking deeply beneath the surface was a heart which thought itself to be above the sinners around me. I didn't even know this until I became the sinner instead. Thrust headlong by the pain of discovering my father's pedophilia and the crush of my mother's subsequent death, I ran with all my might to the desert. Not smart. While the running seemed to ease the excruciation, it led me to a fountain that dried up almost immediately. Left thirsty and barren, I lay there in the sand for too long while my heart shriveled and my skin burned.
Finally, I became dehydrated enough and frustrated beyond my capacity to bear trying to make water come from a well gone dry.
"Jesus?" A question at first. I mean, how could He even hear me so far out in the wilderness.
Aching need. Missing my God. But He seemed so far off. Back in the past yet the scent of Him in my present. "How could He still love me?"
"Jesus." No longer a question but now a longing, yearning for a talk with Him.
I had left my Bible in the sand miles back. I crawled on hands and knees and found it there. Food. Water. Just a little at first. Almost sounded unfamiliar. Yet it whet my sullied appetite and gave me a little strength.
"Jesus!" Now a cry. Thirsty for Him. Craving a talk.
I heard His footsteps brush across the desert floor and felt Him as He neared me. I couldn't look up at Jesus at first. So ashamed was I at having been so unfaithful and afraid. Jesus put His hand upon my head and stroked my hair. That is all that first time. But it was enough to let me know He would lead me back.
What did I learn in the wilderness? I learned to love my Christ because He loved me first. To understand the life bereft of relationship with Him is desiccating and deadly. That He is my breath as well as my food and water. Nothing I can do earns this kind of devotion, for He came into my desert to rescue me from myself. I now love Him on a level I had no experience of before the wilderness. Know why the woman broke the costly jar of perfume and spread it over His feet, wiping the excess with her hair. The one who is forgiven much, loves much. And, I learned to spot a sister lying in the sand. I know she is there because of pain and don't judge her for finding herself prostrate before an empty cistern. I know that if she calls to Him for water, He will come and stroke her hair and lead her to a well that never will run dry.
For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their Shepherd, and He will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Revelation 7
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