Thursday, February 2, 2012

Psalm 26 - The Insufficient Check

I raise my voice in praise and tell of all the miracles You have done. (vs. 7)

I have been walking through the wilderness with the children of Israel lately.  Daily I am feeling the hot sun on their faces and the burning sand between their toes.  My mouth is dry with their thirst and my tunic stinks with their sweat.  The growlings of their empty stomachs and the weariness of their aching bodies wear me out as I read.  And there were not just a few of these tired souls walking in exodus through the desert.  Up to a million, maybe.  Hungry, thirsty and in a bad mood.

If I look at them from afar, I judge them.  How could they have seen the Almighty God send plagues, part seas, confuse and defeat an entire army and then complain against Him when things got rough?  I would never have done that.  Pshaw!  I am made just like they are.  And it has not been pretty for me to see that.

This week my husband received payment from the company for which he had worked for over 20 years. It had declared bankruptcy and gone out of business....with $100,000 of Bill's money plus unused vacation.  Hopeful, we have waited for three years to receive a portion of Bill's money from the many lawyers who have made themselves and the former CEO's fat from the losses.  $3000.00.  That is what we got.  Bill's money down the toilet.  My first reaction was just like the children of Israel ( I don't say this to my credit!!).  What the heck?  Really?  You've got to be kidding!  Blah!  Blah!  Blah!

Later when my spirit was quieter, I heard the gentle reminder that my manna comes from Him.  How about a thank you?  It must be enough for us.  Because it is not a failed company or its lawyers who provides for our needs.   It is God who does that.  I am so sorry, Father.  Thank you for your daily  provision for all of our needs.  With tears of shame.

That our hearts are ungrateful must constantly hurt His.  Yesterday I reread the story of the children of Israel when Moses stayed on the mountain too long getting the commandments from God.  They thought Moses was dead and gone and here they were out in the wilderness without leadership or a god to worship.  So, the brother of Moses accepts the onus of building them an idol.  Throw all of the gold jewelry accumulated for the building of the tabernacle to God into a blazing fire.  Out pops a golden cow!!  Just like that!  A miracle!  So Aaron proposes a fiesta to God!  Really?  An altar to a cow.  Then a ceremony...wonder what that looked like?   Then everyone has rampart sexual relations all over the desert!!  Wow!

Who noticed?  Well, God, of course.  And He wasn't a little mad.  Can you imagine His heart?  Can you hear it breaking?  Can these people not hang on for forty days? 

"Go down from this mountain because your people, the people you brought out of the land of Egypt have ruined themselves!"  Ruined themselves!!!  I cried when I read this because I have also ruined myself on occasion.  Forgotten Whom I love and Who loves me.  Been dry and parched, weary of life, hurt, disillusioned, and hungry.  Mind turned inward.  Heart walled up hard.  Needing a god of the moment instead of the God of All. 

Moses pleaded with His God to not destroy the people and to still go forward with them into the Promised Land, but not before The Judge exacted punishment for this most egregious sin against Him.  Moses melted down the golden idol, ground it into powder and made the sojourners drink the ashes!  The Levites, the priests of Israel were assigned the task of killing off 3000 of their kin.  Their blood soaked up into the sand.  Their names removed from God's book.  Because they forgot..... like I have.

The most astounding miracle of all has kept my name in the book and spared my life from the edge of the sword.  In another desert later on blood poured into the sand which drank it up with its chapped and arid lips.  This time, though, it was the blood of God.  Paying for my inattentiveness and ungrateful heart.  It was not enough, the blood of wayward saints or calves and bulls.  The miracle is that I am covered in the sweaty outpouring of sanctified lifeblood from a death that should have been mine.  Though I forget, He does not.  Though I am unfaithful, He is faithful.  The slaughtering is over.  His love so deep, He came for me because nothing else was sufficient for my sin.  Oh, the miracle.  That there have been others is almost too much!  That I would expect more from His hand than He provided with His death is flagrant extravagance!  The most selfish expectation!  Yet.....Yet, He overflows to me daily, hourly, minute to minute.  Me.  Who deserves nothing.  Given gifts in this life before He ushers me into His eternal presence, clean.  A child He adopted and paid for.

I raise my voice in praise and tell of the miracles You have done!!!!!

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