My sores stink and become infected because I was foolish. I am bent over and bowed down. I am sad all day long. I am burning with fever, and my whole body is sore. I am weak and faint. I moan from the pain I feel.
Lord, You know everything I want. My cries are not hidden from You. My heart pounds, and my strength is gone. I am losing sight. (vs. 5-10)
Weary of being sick. Tired of trying to go forward. Depressed and blind with hopelessness. Why? Because he was foolish. Bearing the consequences of his own sin. Seeing his God far away and not being able to touch Him. Crying out for it to be finished, one way or the other. Sin sickness.
Oh, I have been foolish! You might have been, too. I have gone my own way and found myself in a pit so deep I could see only the tiniest point of light. I was allowed to sit there for a while. To smell the slime on the walls and feel the dankness creep up over me, chilling hope. To wrap up in the loneliness created by being left there when I thought I was loved. Thrown away because I threw away. Foolish. I don't even have to close my eyes to go back there in my spirit. Sat there long enough to have the pit imprinted on my soul. Hell. Not a place I yearn to return. I just want to be near my Abba now.
Why? Because after I had sat there long enough to know I would never find myself there again, He came and got me out! He always knew everything I wanted. My cries for clarity and cleanness were always heard, though I thought they only echoed in the confines of my cave. Just when I believed I would lose sight of the hopeful ray of light that beamed a better way, He stood beside me, took my filthy hand, and led me out to freedom. Abba did.
The sickness David bemoans starts with the soul. With a notion that I can do a better job with my life than God can. That I give my God the finger and tell Him I am doing it my way! Sound harsh? Well. It is. So, my Father lets me. What can He do? For I must learn the hard way.
But my Father knows everything I wanted in the first place. He knows why I went astray. And that is what He wants to fix in me. He could have done it without my wanderings into foolishness, but I did not let Him. In my pain I ran as fast as I could into more pain. Clever, wasn't I? But the wonder of it all is that when I ran out of sinful steam, when I was sick to death of myself, bent over and bowed down, sad all day long, weak, faint and moaning my misery to my God, He heard my cries. Was, in fact, waiting for them. "Sit there for a bit, my daughter, so you never,ever forget what it is like to be away from Me. I will sit here with you. Let's talk." Listening to my Father in the pit. Finally hearing what He wanted to tell me before when I would not be still for Him to speak.
I wear clean soul clothes now. I did not purchase them. They were bought for me. There are some for you, too. If you need them. Washed in red. Purest white. You cannot earn them or buy them on Amazon.com. They have a monogram on them, but it is not your name. It is the Father's because the clothing and the one who dons them belong to Him.
Lord, You know everything I want. My cries are not hidden from You. My heart pounds, and my strength is gone. I am losing sight. (vs. 5-10)
Weary of being sick. Tired of trying to go forward. Depressed and blind with hopelessness. Why? Because he was foolish. Bearing the consequences of his own sin. Seeing his God far away and not being able to touch Him. Crying out for it to be finished, one way or the other. Sin sickness.
Oh, I have been foolish! You might have been, too. I have gone my own way and found myself in a pit so deep I could see only the tiniest point of light. I was allowed to sit there for a while. To smell the slime on the walls and feel the dankness creep up over me, chilling hope. To wrap up in the loneliness created by being left there when I thought I was loved. Thrown away because I threw away. Foolish. I don't even have to close my eyes to go back there in my spirit. Sat there long enough to have the pit imprinted on my soul. Hell. Not a place I yearn to return. I just want to be near my Abba now.
Why? Because after I had sat there long enough to know I would never find myself there again, He came and got me out! He always knew everything I wanted. My cries for clarity and cleanness were always heard, though I thought they only echoed in the confines of my cave. Just when I believed I would lose sight of the hopeful ray of light that beamed a better way, He stood beside me, took my filthy hand, and led me out to freedom. Abba did.
The sickness David bemoans starts with the soul. With a notion that I can do a better job with my life than God can. That I give my God the finger and tell Him I am doing it my way! Sound harsh? Well. It is. So, my Father lets me. What can He do? For I must learn the hard way.
But my Father knows everything I wanted in the first place. He knows why I went astray. And that is what He wants to fix in me. He could have done it without my wanderings into foolishness, but I did not let Him. In my pain I ran as fast as I could into more pain. Clever, wasn't I? But the wonder of it all is that when I ran out of sinful steam, when I was sick to death of myself, bent over and bowed down, sad all day long, weak, faint and moaning my misery to my God, He heard my cries. Was, in fact, waiting for them. "Sit there for a bit, my daughter, so you never,ever forget what it is like to be away from Me. I will sit here with you. Let's talk." Listening to my Father in the pit. Finally hearing what He wanted to tell me before when I would not be still for Him to speak.
I wear clean soul clothes now. I did not purchase them. They were bought for me. There are some for you, too. If you need them. Washed in red. Purest white. You cannot earn them or buy them on Amazon.com. They have a monogram on them, but it is not your name. It is the Father's because the clothing and the one who dons them belong to Him.
No comments:
Post a Comment