When I felt safe, I said, "I will never fear." Lord, in Your kindness you made my mountain safe.
But when You turned away, I was frightened. I called to You, Lord, and asked You to have mercy on me. I said, "What good will it do if I die or if I go down to the grave? Dust cannot praise You. It cannot speak Your truth. Lord, hear me and have mercy on me. Lord help me!" (vs 6-10)
Just reading about about the sons of Aaron, Nadab and Abihu. God had chosen Aaron and his sons to be the priestly line - the ones who ministered at the altar of incense close to the veil. Nearest to God's Presence in the Holy of Holies behind that veil. Consecrated them for this special purpose. Esteemed them above the other Levites to serve Him intimately. The only fire that was to be put into the holy golden altar of incense was from the fiery coals taken with a little sacred shovel from the altar of sacrifice, morning and evening. No other fire was permitted. It meant a walk out to the courtyard. Really. That is all. A short walk of obedience.
It seems, however, on one particular day the two boys just didn't wanna walk that far. "Let's just strike a match and set this incense on fire in our holy pans." They surely said to each other. "Who will know?"
"Yeah, it's raining outside." Or some such reason.
Got a little familiar with God. Complacent with His call on their lives. Not only that. It was to God like giving Him the finger. Didn't matter that He wanted holy coals with the residue of the dripping blood of the sacrifice to coax the incense into its aromatic wafting throughout the tabernacle. "Any old fire will do."
That's what God heard. These boys felt safe in their tented, privileged lives. Didn't fear the Lord. That was a fatal mistake.
Maybe it was because they could not see on down the road a couple thousand years. That they did not know He was going to one day come down and pour His blood on an altar of sacrifice so that the incense of our prayers to God were covered in the residue of holy blood. They just didn't get the plan and the blueprint for it that was the sacrificial system. But what if they had? Would their hearts still have been so lazy on that day they didn't figure it was worth it to walk all the way to the sacrificial altar to get the right coals? Don't know. The point, of course, is that they became complacent. Felt safe. Threw caution to the wind. And they died.
When I felt safe, I said: "I'm not afraid of anything. Nothing can hurt me." Our sovereign God will not let us get away with thinking we are a god to ourselves. Not if we have had the privilege of drawing close to Him in His holiest place. That would be inadequate fatherhood. Like letting your child run free on the freeway because she wants to, never mind she does not understand that traffic will kill her. No, our Father might let us get a taste of the horror of 80-mile-an-hour freeway traffic, but He is right there to remind us with His outstretched arm of rescue, that we are pretty stupid to do our own thing.
"Lord, have mercy on me! Lord, help me!" as traffic whishes by and we are nearly hit. "Don't let me die! I can't witness to others about Christ if I am dead!"
Paradigm shift. God reminding us that we need Him. That we are wayward saints who got comfortable enough in His presence that we took Him for granted. Nothing wrong with feeling safe as long we know our safety is in Him. He is our strong tower. He, the One Who covers us with His wings. He, Who knows our way. He, our sovereign King, Who makes the rules. He, Who is the Holy God we are unfathomably allowed to call Abba, Daddy.
If you think for a moment that what He has called you to do is just too much trouble, think again. Living in nearness to His heart beyond this thin veil that is, in a breath, pulled aside to see His face on the other side is worth a walk to the sacrificial altar.
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